Are You Okay With Your Man Cheating As Long As He Takes Care Of Home?
Recently I came across an interview with Diamond from the rap group Crime Mob. The interview caught my eye because of two reasons. One being the topic they were discussing. Diamond was giving her opinion about whether it bothered her if her man cheated on her. Diamond has been in a relationship with fellow rapper Lil Scrappy for over a year now. The second reason is because I interviewed Diamond about 3 months ago concerning her new album and I remember the topic of her relationship with Lil Scrappy came up but we did not get as deep into it as she did in this particular interview. What caught my immediate attention was when she went on to say that she did not care if Scrappy cheated on her as long as she remained number one. Peep The excerpt:
“Personally I don’t give a F*** a n*gga could talk to 20 bitches but as long as I get my 90% and whoever he talking to get 10% that’s fine. a n*gga gonna be a n*gga and once a chick realize men gonna do what they wanna do its about how they go about doing it as long as they respect me and whoever… like if you are talking to somebody or whatever as long as they know when I step in the building then she need to put her head down, she need to know her place. That’s when people get it twisted.”
This quote from her made me wonder how many women feel this way about the relationship they are in. I tend to be selfish so I don’t know if I could knowingly share a man with other women. I thought that the point to being in a relationship was that it was something between two people. If you are going to be dating/sexing other people while you are with me? What’s the point? Why not just make the relationship open and you do you and I do me? Why even play the game like we are together when we obviously are not. Am I naive to think that in 2009 there is such a thing as monogamy. In the world where people have ten kids with each other but never get married, where people sleep with their partners family members and expect you to just get over it, in a world where having a menage trois is considered a thing of beauty. I am not judging, just looking for clarification.
Have we come to a point as women that we should expect our mate to cheat on us and accept it as long as he is treating you right? This way of thinking is not new but it has always been one that baffled me and striked me as a bit desperate. I do not believe in setting the precedent for anyone that it is okay for you treat me badly. Is having a man that urgent that you would willingly share him? I am one that believes that I am worth a man loving me and only me. I now, shocker right! My guess is that the fear of being alone is what keeps a person with a cheater. Every woman wants someone to love and someone to love them. They would be lying if they said they did not.
Also, what happens when you see obvious signs that something is up? Like if he is coming home late, phone is constantly ringing and he always has to step out of the room, etc. When the symptoms from your arrangement start to spill over do you ignore it because you know you are number one in his heart? I do not know if I believe that a man can love you with such high regard while simultaneously sexing another female. Love is a selfless act when done right. Seems like he still is looking out for number one. Men have been reduced to animals who cannot control themselves so we let them occasionally go and sniff someone else’s a** to get their fix and then we laugh about it like “shoot, he always gotta come back to me for dinner though”. Does he? Not really. What happens when another owner comes around enticing him with treats that are a little better?
This arrangement always seemed flawed to me because you are running the risk that he might start to become attached to the side chick. Sure he can say she means nothing and it is only about sex but feelings/emotions change. Also women are emotional creatures. What happens if the side chick decides she does not want to be side anymore?
More importantly we live in a world with HIV and AIDS. That alone should be enough to make a woman or man want to reconsider the sharing aspect. It certainly put an enormous amount of fear into me.
THIS HEFFA SL0W! I cant go!! I dont even gotta say anything else
I don’t think it is selfish to want to have your man exclusively. It’s unrealistic to think that you can share your significant other and not have it mess up your relationship. Women tend to be more lenient when men when it comes to cheating. Men can’t take it at all. Me knowing about who he’s been with doesn’t make it any better. Plus, I want kids and I’m not tryna have their Daddy spending time with some other woman and possibly her kids instead of spending time with me and them. And we in a recession! How he gonna afford to take care of both of us…lol…. Real talk open relationships are disfunctional…period.