To Forgive Or Not To Forgive A Cheater

This is an age old issue that anyone who has ever been in an adult relationship will face at least once in their lives. I have been on both ends of this. I have been a cheater and have been cheated on. (I’m not perfect) I have also forgave. Even though I was always taught that once a cheater always a cheater. I am not sure if I completely stand by that. It is possible for people to change and grow. On the contrary it is also possible that some people are naturally selfish and will never be true to anyone but themselves.

The irony I noticed in cheating is that women seem to be quicker to forgive versus men whose ego and pride will not allow them to even picture their girl with someone else. However, I digress.. What is the criteria when considering if you will forgive your cheating mate? How much they beg and cry? I know some people who like to punish the person for a term and only then will they consider reconciliation. If this is their first offense? Everyone deserves a second chance in my opinion. What if they seem like they have learned their lesson? Cheaters can be ridden with guilt and their sincerity can be a source for being forgiven.

Do you forgive right away because your love for that person outweighs any trivial mistakes they may have made? Or, do you get even? Secretly hold a grudge and find yourself a playmate to fight with in the sheets while your unsuspecting partner is at home thinking all is forgiven. I have taken that route when I was much younger. Although it felt good at the time to exact revenge, it is not the path I would take at this point in my life. If I am going to spend the energy in plotting and planning against them then I might as well get rid of them.

I am a sucker for love to an extent so I tend to lean towards the idea of forgiveness with the condition that if something like this ever happens again, the relationship is a wrap. Burn me once, all is forgiven, burn me twice and I won’t be nice. I said to an extent.