When I was in my early twenties I had a checklist. You know ladies, the ins and outs of what you want in a potential mate. It is amazing to me how much that checklist has changed almost 10 years later. Sure, there are some of the more essential factors on the list that would never change but my point is that what I thought would make me happy then, would definitely not make me happy now. It amazes me how much as women we grow and blossom. We are forever evolving creatures. With that being said, is it possible that having a checklist can prevent you from having a man?
What I am saying is, can we get so caught up in finding that “perfect man” in our minds that we lose sight of the truly essential components that would really make us happy because we are focused on a list that we have concocted in our heads? Or we completely are blind to a potentially great man that is digging us.
I watch Chilli from TLC’s VH1 reality show where she is on the quest for “true love”. Now, on some points I totally agree with her checklist but then there are times when I think she might want to ease up on some of those qualifications. Some have more to do with vanity and shallowness than love or the infamous feeling of “settling”. . Sure it is great to feel that you are the s**t and have it going on and blah blah.. But at what point does the feeling of confidence and searching for what you know you deserve cross over into ignorance, arrogance and loneliness?
I get that Chilli is a chick that has it going on. Sure she is not a current super star as she once was but she does have legendary status in the sense that TLC has reached many heights that a lot of other artists never see in a life long career. However, is she perhaps letting her vanity take over her good damn sense when creating this unimaginable list? Come on now, what if you are missing out on Mr. Right simply because you are too damn picky. How many ladies have allowed a “list” to be the reason why they are currently alone? Is compromising on some of the wants in the list the wrong direction? What happens if you marry someone when you are young based on this list and then years later, he does not meet the standards of your new list? For example here are some of the items from my list from about ten years ago:
1. Has to wear the most in style clothes (back then I was really into more urban guys so by in style I meant new name brand, top notch sneakers, name brand jeans etc..)
2. Must not have any kids
3. Must be tall, at least 6’0.
4. Must have a degree
5. Must have swag
Here are a few items from my list ten years later
1. Must have a spiritual side
2. Must have a job
3. Must be my friend first lover second
4. Must be intelligent, good conversationalist, analytical etc..
5. Must be a caretaker type
Whew! My how I have grown! Thank God! Now its your turn. What was your list then versus now! Share! I wanna know!
All is I can say is that she's gonna be single a long time...It's nice that she has her checklist, But if it's not GOD's will for her to have that "Dream Man" that she's looking for, it will not happen..She didn't mention anything about the man respecting her, or willing to let her dominate the relationship( because when you make certain demands, that means that you are the one running the show)...She's setting herself up to be hurt because if she finds that brotha with a "yacht" and six pack abs, I bet he will be a playa...
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