When He Wants You Back But… You’ll Pass

May 4th, 2010 @ LJ Knight

16


“One day he’ll wake up and realize how amazing she really was and when that day comes she will be waking up next to the man who already knew.”

Let the church say “Amen”. Caution- This One Is For The Sistas. In other words I am about to let the Shera, feminist princess, warrior chick out. I am not for the tame of heart.

There are a lot of women who just read the above quote and are thinking to themselves that “this is the story of their lives”. It stroke a chord with me as well. Lets digest this quote. How often do we as women go back and forth with a man that we love in the hopes that he will one day be true, appreciate us, or just get his act together? Whatever the issue may be, we struggle with him in hopes of it coming into fruition but at last, it does not. After realizing that you are at fault as well for wasting so much time and energy on the relationship you are forced to put on your soldier of love armor and proceed into the jungles of the dating world.

How defeating is it that you can give your heart to someone and love them as openly as humanely possible and yet they still choose to dishonor you? I currently am in a loving, healthy relationship but I can count about 3-4 ex boyfriends of mine who if were to give them a chance, would love to take my current honey’s place. All it would take is a simple phone call from me requesting their attention and they would respond.

There is no clear explanation as to why a man does not appreciate the woman he has until he no longer has her. It is as if it does not connect with them until much after. By then it is too late. She is no longer interested or has moved on. Some say this concept is human nature. Now, I am not talking about ALL men because obviously not all men are foolish but in this moment I am more so speaking to my sista’s so brothas, see you your way to the back door. I also am fully aware that women equally damage relationships as well but again, this quote is for my sistas. Thanks.

With that being said ladies, in reference to my earlier statement about there being at least 3 exes of mine whose mistakes ended our relationships. They would jump at the chance to be with me now if I initiated it. What is it that makes a woman more desirable when she in not thinking of you? Ladies, you have been here. Each of these fellas has tried on at least two different occasions to attempt to win my love back after the break up. Some tried right away and for some it took years for them to fully grasp what I may have meant to them, what we could have had, or the mistakes that they made to contribute to the demise of the relationship.

In fact within the last year of me moving from my hometown to California, at least 4 of my exes have reached out to me in some capacity. They were each unaware of my current relationship status and had hopes of securing another chance with me. All were denied. Unfortunately for them, even if I was single, I am not a woman who is keen on giving second and third chances. Once the relationship is officially over and we both have moved on the curtains fall. Especially if there has been a longtime gap in between our relationship and your reaching out to me. In my mind, I don’t even know you anymore and you don’t know me. It annoys me while simultaneously saddens me at the pace that it takes some men to “get it”. To finally see that this woman might not be someone that they should take for granted and instead should cherish. Fact: Not everyone is easily replaceable. Sure you can get another chick with ease but certain people are special. Sounds simple but there is truth to it. Certain people can leave a positive impression in your life.

The candor in this quote appeals to me. It makes it that much clearer to me that you really can be destined to be with someone. Think about it. For those of you who are married, of all the people in the world, you could have just as easily have been with anyone else. Anyone else. You could just as easily could still be in the last failed relationship you were in before your marriage. But somehow, the Universe saw to it that you were to meet this particular individual that you are currently with.

I want to tell the fellas not to be suckas (you can come back in now). Not to let the woman who loves you unconditionally slip through your fingers and ultimately end up like the guy in the quote mentioned earlier. Ladies, feel free to send this quote out to the fellas you are with as a reminder of just how good your love is.

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