Dear LJ:

Look, he is over protective of his cell phone, and having low toned conversations and hit the ignore button if I am around, only to say that it was a 1-800 number, but later will find him in another room talking real low. HELP!

Signed A

Dear A,

You are absolutely right in asking is he worth the trouble but that is something you should be asking yourself. Personally, I do not have the patience, nor the available time to run after a man and always have to worry if he is cheating. How can I enjoy him if I cannot trust him? Majority of my time with him will be spent playing detective. Now I am not saying turn a blind eye to situations that are not sitting well with you. In other words, if you sense something is up then investigate and ask questions. However, if you have to spend the majority of the relationship checking up on this man to see if he is lying or cheating then no it is not worth the trouble in my humble opinion.

As I stated earlier I do not have the time nor the energy to do that much investigative work for a man. However, some women don’t mind it. They find playing 007 exciting. Most of these women never leave once they find out he is cheating, even if it is a repetitive thing. So…. Why be bothered with the investigative work if you know you are not going to leave him regardless of the outcome or his behavior. At this point I think that you should decide if this is something that you want in your life? Do you want to HAVE to be bothered with chasing after him figuratively speaking? Do you really believe that he is cheating? If so then that might be your queue to exit. Another thing to consider is to how serious the relationship is? You were not clear as to whether or not this was your husband or not. If it is then there might be other things you should consider and your next step might be to confront him.

Any advice for this woman?