Written By: Charly

My Favorite chapter in the BIBLE is Proverbs 31:10-31. The Proverbs states that a good wife is worth more than rubies and gold, that a good wife is never lazy, a good wife helps the needy, a good wife knows how to buy land, as well as, plant a vineyard, a good wife gets up before daylight to prepare breakfast for her family, a good wife’s husband is well-known and respected leader in the city and he is more respected because of her. I have always TRIED to be this woman in all of my relationships, and ultimately when I marry I hope to BE this woman.

In Karrine Steffans book “The Vixen Manual”, she introduces the term helpmate – which I ultimately believe Proverbs 31:10-31 is saying a wife should be. As she states in her book, “If you have a man that is worth his weight in gold and would do most anything to assure your happiness, then why not pick up behind him, remember the things he’s forgotten or take out the trash for him. When it’s time for his shower, grab him a new towel and washcloth and hand them to him when he’s finished [In the winter month's, I like to put the towel in the dryer or oven while he's in the shower, so he gets out to a nice warm towel]. Every once in a while, when you’re in the shower with him, wash his entire body for him [spice it up and add oral copulation until he reaches - it will make for a great start to his day]. Make him feel like the Kin he is and he’ll know you are his queen.” Another point she makes, that I love, “In this post-sexual revolution age of empowerment and level playing fields, many of us [women] view words like helpmate as indicating indentured servitude. Servitude, however, typically entails subjugation, where only on party benefits and the other party suffers humiliation and lowered standard of living. What I’m suggesting is the opposite of that. I’m talking about being “of service, as we are in any role we undertake that requires our commitment and expertise. You are of service in your career, as a parent, or as a friend, so why wouldn’t you be the same in your relationship with your man?”

As a woman we have the power within us to be all things – mother, wife, friend, maid, cook, trailblazer, successful in our chosen career, personal whore, etc. – but it seems as if we have forgotten that. We are either too much of one and not enough of the other. or we are focused on one singular aspect. Being a helpmate is about being all things to your family, as well as, yourself.

At Home…

You should take pride in preparing a wonderful nutritious breakfast for your loved ones every morning, even on a busy morning – blend up a smoothie and toast a bagel; delight in your man walking in from work to a hot supper, clean house, and clean children. If you don’t live together, clean up, do his laundry (even if you have to take it home with you and do it there, cook him something wonderful (Can’t cook? Order out, but serve it on plates or grab a cookbook and start practicing). Find out his favorite childhood meal, call up his mom and get the recipe – trust me your effort will not go unnoticed. Even the messiest man wants a domestic goddess at home – sorry ladies, he IS looking for his mother.

Emotional…

The wonderful man you’ve decided to enter into a relationship with should be able to come and talk to you about ANYTHING without fear that it will be used against him later; that you will look at him as less than a man; or worst be judged. When he talks, simply listen – no need to interject your thoughts – if he asks your opinion or advice, give him thoughtful loving advice. Please remember how hard it is for someone who is supposed to be a protector and provider to come and be vulnerable – do not abuse the trust your man has shown in you….. To Read More Go To AmbitionIsSexy.

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Tags:  love, marriage, men, relationships, sex, women