Black women, we love our curves. Don’t we? We love the fact that we have hips, a booty, how our silhouette is to envy. A young woman asked me recently to write a post about women who are overweight and how they should remain confident. Now, I tried to write a sincere piece about this topic but my heart was not there. I want all women to have a positive self image, love themselves and to be confident no matter their size but I will not encourage them to remain ignorant to the truth. I cannot in good conscious encourage a woman to remain overweight and risk her body shutting down from bad health. Oh yes, it can happen. I have seen it first hand on more than one occasion.
I want women, Black women in particular to stop misusing the word “thick” when they are in fact “overweight” or simply “fat”. This is just another tool that the African American community uses to ignore the ugly truth of how obesity is plaguing us. There is a difference between being thick and being fat. Having curves, a booty, thighs, full breasts, etc Yes, you are thick. However if you are at least 100 to 150 pounds or more overweight then you are not thick. You are fat. Chances are you are not that healthy either. Which is where my real concern comes in. I can tell you one hundred times that you look great. Don’t worry about loosing any weight. It doesn’t matter what you eat. Who cares that you are at least 100 pounds overweight. Girl you better eat! Girl you just extra thick. I would be doing you a disservice. I could tell you all those things and these and none of them would be true. The truth would be that you are going down the path of diabetes, high blood pressure, heart problems, etc..
Let me say that, I am in no way an advocate for women to starve themselves or attempt to be an unrealistic small size. See, the pendulum swings both ways. I do not think you should be morbidly obese or ridiculously thin. Both of these categories are equally unhealthy. I also do not subscribe to White America’s generalization that in order for a woman to be considered attractive she has to be a size 1, 2 3 or even a 4. Especially when the average woman in America is about a size 9/10. Nor am I encouraging you to be a size 1 or 2 unless you are naturally petite. The truth is that hiding behind the word “thick” is not going to prevent the health problems down the line if you are indeed fat and not thick.
There has to be a balance. Black women we fight against the “system” and we purposely separate ourselves from other women of other cultures by embracing our curves. We laugh at the them for wanting what we have naturally. For years they belittled and mocked our bodies and now they pay people to stick needles in their lips and ass in order to get it. Oh the irony. We are even braggadocios about our backside and the curvature it comes with. We refer to ourselves as being “juicy” “thick as hell”, “super thick” etc.. These are all terms of endearment. It is the reason why when it is picture time the first thing we do is turn around and throw the camera an ass shot. I love that we possess these assets. I dig the confidence and never want any of us to be hunched over a toilet trying to cause self inflicting vomiting. However, I never want to have to witness any of us go through health conditions because at some point we surpassed thick and rolled over into the fat category like the Walmart happy face logo. Yet we refused to believe we are fat and would rather hide behind the word thick until we implode. We do not have to look like “them” to be beautiful but we do have to take care of ourselves to be healthy.
Years ago, my Mother had to have open heart surgery because she did not eat right, and was overweight. In my Mom’s case she knew she was not thick and was in fact overweight but continued to eat unhealthy until her body screamed “I can’t take it anymore”. Luckily, my Mother survived and did have to loose weight in order to take some of the pressure and extra work from her heart. Imagine if she didn’t. Imagine if she ignored the doctors and held on to her dream like self image of being thick?
Ladies, I am not hear to judge anyone or tear us down. I’m not perfect. Even I know that I could stand to loose at least 30 pounds and am in the midst of that journey. Let’s take away the veil of ignorance and stop hiding behind those old ghetto declarations we tell ourselves in order to ignore the truths and because they made us feel good. Ask yourself, are you thick? Or just fat?
“No.” “Stop.” “Not interested.” “No thank you.” These and other variations should be part of your vocabulary… 
Change. President Barack Obama chanted that we needed “a change we can believe in” and Sam Cooke sang… 
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Sharon
1 month ago
Excellent article. Next stop, tips on moving towards weight loss. Where should the overweight woman begin? I’ve been to my doctor 3 times this year, and he is just not giving it the attention it deserves. It’s almost like he’s afraid to offend me even though that’s the very reason for my appointment. He stuck me on appetite suppressants and sent me on my way. That’s not right – at all. I want to know more about having a healthy lifestyle, exercise, etc.
Quesha
1 month ago
Sharon some basics that anyone can use: Eat food that resembles its original form. Whole fruit and veggies (without all the butter and cheese and grease), nix processed foods like chicken nuggets, hot dogs, and lunch meat (they are the leftovers or various animals with seasoning), cut out fried foods and fast foods…you will be cooking a lot more, but you will be so much healthier.
Working out for newbies can be as simple as just doing something! If you really need to lose weight and just start some kind of movement…anything…you will lose weight. And there are so many online magazines that can give you ideas. There are DVDs galore…and cheap. The important thing to do is just move more and eat less.
Quesha
1 month ago
Woowee girl, I know that you did not go here?! You know people want to be lied to…especially black women. That is the reason that the word thick has been stretched and misused and abused to the point that everybody is think. Everybody bigger than a size 6 is thick. There is no upper limit anymore! Also signs that folks wanna be lied to: body shapers. If you are so proud, why are you squishing everything into to that constrictive torture machine?? Another sign: diet pop! Just drink the regular stuff, because the pop ain’t the only culprit, it is the fried chicken and fries and milkshake that accompany it.
Until people quit lying to themselves, they will continue to use these “nice” words to cover up their underlying issues. And this lying is just KILLING people. We are so unhealthy, but we don’t really want to know the truth of things. The truth is too ugly…the lies make people feel better. Well, I think being healthy will make people really feel better. When your health improves, everything about your life improves. So take some intiative and learn the truth about your situation and your body.
I would never advocate a specific size or weight. No one is saying be stick thin or a size 2. I, myself am a size 10 right now, (but headed towards an 8.) Your size does not matter, the foods that you eat matter. Getting regular exercise matters. Getting rid of alla that extra fat that needs to be squished into a torture chamber matters! But clearly we can see from the evidence that people like me are gonna be unpopular because telling the truth is unpopular. But telling the truth will be the only thing that changes the condition of the black community.
OhPlease
1 month ago
I appreciate this article so much because I had a friend who was 5 2″ and 364lbs but refused to thing that there was anything wrong with that she was just extra thick and would argue with me when I say lets have a salad or go for a walk that I was trying to make her a skinny B&*ch. Then would cry and complain that people talk about her for wearing too tight clothes or tell her that certain outfits were not appropriate. After 2 years I gave up. Because my 5 8″ 135lbs eats right and exercise. cant want something for someone that they dont want for themselves.
Chrissy Jones
1 month ago
Thanks for writing this. Being overweight does definitely contribute to a multitude of health problems. However I wasn’t saying to “encourage women to remain ignorant to the truth”. My suggestion was to write something on being confident despite what you look like on the outside. I suppose that may have been more difficult to do since you are not 100 or more pounds overweight.
I am self aware when it comes to my size. I do think that saying you are thick when you are fat is not realisitc. However having confidence is extremely important regardless of the outer shell.
LJ Knight
1 month ago
@CHRISSY, I definitely agree with you. All women of all sizes should have confidence, as I mentioned in the piece. However, I think you should have that confidence while working towards a healthier you simultaneously.I also wanted to point out some of the lies women tell themselves in order to ignore the very dangerous and life threatening truth.
Tara G
1 month ago
I’m just fat!! lol This was a great article!!! This is definitely needed!! C’mon my black sistahs…we really need to do this thing together. One important thing to remember about this is to: DO IT FOR YOURSELF!!! Not to get a man, not to receive popularity, receive acceptance, to get a job, etc…but for YOURSELF!!! This is definitely a mental issue (sorry to go biblical on ya, but as a man thinks in his heart so is he)…in order to recognize the truth…u MUST FIRST be truthful to YOURSELF!! =)
THANKS LJ!! =D
World *Side-Eye
1 month ago
There are many things in this blog that I agree and disagree with, my first problem is the usage of the words thick and fat. I think it’s funny you (and a host of other people) use those these words like they mean something different, Fat is thick and thick is fat point blank. I believe shapely is a good term or even the 70′s term stacked simply because there is a huge difference from a fit shapely person and a thick chick. Women who are normally considered thick are usually well above their recommended body fat percentage and that’s what really matters. I also believe that your jump to being 100 to 150 pounds overweight is a gross exaggeration considering 30 pounds overweight is significant and can cause problems to the vital organs and a person’s well-being. I think you should have also shed light on those women who you really consider “thick” and talk about how being unhealthy, regardless of your weight, is bad for your health. Unhealthy eating habits and lack of exercise at any weight is detrimental to a long life.
@OhPlease I find it extremely hard to believe that your friend is 5’2″ and 364 pounds and walking around believing that she is anything but fat. That’s a severe case of denial, and that could be the root of why she doesn’t want to eat healthy or take the necessary steps toward building a healthier lifestyle. She may be beyond the point of your help it may be time to have a professional step in before you lose her not just as a friend but in life, period.
*side-eye
OhPlease
1 month ago
@Side-Eye she is aware that she is fat but believes their is nothing wrong with it. She takes on the Monique philosophy even though she fails to realize Monique is a tall individual and her frame can manage more weight even though Monique herself admitted that she need to maintain a healthier weight. Like I said after @ years I gave up. If we went to McDonalds and I got a mchicken or a salad she would get to big mac meals supersized. Then would complain about her lack of energy and her love life but does nothing to change it needless to say now she hangs with a group of girls who are overweight and they just enable each other.My problem is don’t berate me for wanting to be healthy because we all know you can be a small individual and still be unhealthy. I hope one day she takes it seriously!
The Shytrovert
1 month ago
“I want women, Black women in particular to stop misusing the word “thick” when they are in fact “overweight” or simply “fat”. This is just another tool that the African American community uses to ignore the ugly truth of how obesity is plaguing us..”
Truer words have never been spoken. I was fat (size 16) once and now I am thick at a size 6/8 at 5 ft 4. I started by turning to Weight Watchers and walking on a treadmill 20 minutes a day every day. The weight came off in a year. Maintenance is the hardest part, but I still follow the lessons I learned with Weight Watchers. Portion size, healthy snacks, no emotional eating, don’t drink your calories and exercise.
I liked Weight Watchers because I could still have sweets, chittlins, macaroni and cheese and still lose. No food is evil. You just have to eat reasonable amounts and remember the first bite is the best. My other advice is to, besides regimented exercise, become a more active person overall. Walk to the errands you can, take the steps, if you work in an office get up and walk around for five or fifteen minutes. Walk around while you’re on the telephone.
Tasha
1 month ago
Great responses, people!
There really isn’t much to say that hasn’t already been said; the truth is, we are lying to ourselves as black women if we think it’s ok to walk around with 30, 50, 80, 100 lbs of excess weight on our bodies. It is NOT ok to be unhealthy, EVER!
Yet, as someone mentioned earlier, there is nothing you can do to help someone on the wrong path unless s/he can see the self-destructive behaviors for him/herself.
My testimony is that I am 5’5″ and I was once 225 lbs. It took me experiencing a miscarriage as I neared the end of my 2nd trimester to wake me up. I knew I never wanted to experience that again, and although it was a “spontaneous” miscarriage, I know in my heart, my unhealthy weight directly attributed to it.
Anyway, I did the Atkins diet for a quick time, then joined Jenny Craig (to learn how to eat correctly long-term) and I am now 155 lbs. Most importantly, I was confident and beautiful before, but now I am also EMPOWERED.
We must continue spreading the love, and we must keep educating each other!
Lacretia
1 month ago
I just wanted to say, LJ Knight you are awesome. I love the way you speak the truth. Sometimes we as women need to hear the real instead of walking in the darkness of this belief system that its ok to be overweight and wearing certain clothes. I see sistas all the time wearing clothes that they know their fourteen year old daughter can wear…and no one says anything. I dont like to see people go out like that especially when othe people see it and know its wrong.Now dont get me wrong there are some sistas that are overweight but, they maintain themselves so well that..smaller sista’s cant compete. Overall Sista’s we do need to take care of ourselves so we can be healthier, happier and more engerized mothers to our children, sisters to our brotha’s daughters to our mothers, and most of all that reflection of gods love for ourself in a nuturing way. Now I cant do too much talking because I could stand to loose at least 30 pounds myself…especially since I’ve always been in a size 7 and is now in 14′s..but hey…I’m happy, I’m healthy and I love the way my body looks. My husband agrees.. and by the way he does call me Juicy!!!
I am interested in other topics of conversation you discuss…Please continue sharing the knowledge and wisdom and most of all keeping it real!!!
Lee
1 month ago
Thank you! Women who claim to be ‘thick’ instead of admitting to being fat are the same to me as the women who come to the gym and walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes (at zero speed) and claim that they are ‘working out’!
As a woman who works out 2.5 hours five days a week, I get tired of women who tell me that I have time to do it because I’m single. I’m also 54 years old, pay my own bills by working my ass off, and don’t have any other money coming into my house except that what I bring in! The Black women who come into the gym that I attend NEVER ask me how I lost the weight, never ask me if we can work out together, never speak to me! Yet they will go over to the white women who take supplements and ask them how to ‘get it off’, knowing damn well that #1 We have ass and thighs that they DON”T have, and #2, that the supplements don’t work for the long haul.
I had my blood work done this past week, and the doctor said that I have the pulse rate of an athlete, my blood pressure is 110/60, and I have NONE of the precusors of disease common to Black women. Until the sisters start taking care of themselves, they will continue to die in numbers that would cause panic in other races. Sistas, stop ignoring those of us who have been studying nutrition for many years and can help you get to where we are! The reason why I don’t work behind the desk at the gym is because I don’t need they pay cut, OK! Them chicks are there to sell you supplements and memberships; ask the Black woman who has the body that you admire to show YOU how to get there!
Karris in Philly
1 month ago
A number is not really a size when a size 12 can be skinny or fat on 2 different women. I am 6 feet tall and built very broadly. Size 12 feet, broad shoulders wearing a DD bra. If i was a size 6 I would be dead, if I was a 10/12 I would probably not look right. I am a size 16/18 and love it but I have also been a 28 and I was in a lot of pain. Its just about health and perception because I have been called a fat bi*ch more times than I can count since I lost 100 lbs then anyone would have ever dared when I was 360. I look healthy but could do a lot more to be more healthy. A much shorter girlfriend of mine who is a size 16 could never fit into my clothes and she probably needs to lose a lot of weight but she is about 5’6″. Just think about it all . . . . because I am still considered fat and I look good!
dj
1 month ago
I agree 100% of what you’ve stated in this post. But you need to also remember that a whole lot of black women are encouraged by their mates to stay overweight because it looks good. I have experienced that first hand with my sister. I hated when she gained a gang of weight after having 7 children. Her son’s father told her she looked good. I wanted to kill him. She looked horrible. I am not trying to talk about her but it just aggravated the hell out of me cuz it gets to the point where everything a overweight person wears just looks awful and the sad truth is they will just keep wearing tight fitting clothes. And the health problems she has had worried the hell out me. Even when a overweght person looses the weight sometimes they will always have some kind of health problem that was caused by being overweight. Alot of people do not know that but it happens. I live in a state where small people are rare. Most of the women in a majority white and black are very much overweight and i’m not kidding. If i could just take pictures from the clubs, malls, stores, workplaces, etc. We as people of color need to get it together and stop ignoring what is important which is taking care of ourselves. I have 5 children and I weigh 132lbs and wear a size 8. I still feel like I need to drop just a couple of more pounds because my feet swell so i know one reason is i am a little two heavy. When I weighed 117 I didn’t have that problem and I am not looking for any woman to be 117. That is just what feels comfortable for me.
LadyDi
1 month ago
Great stuff in this article – I am one of the formerly ‘Fat’ now simply ‘Thick’. Nearly 6 feet tall, originally weighing 265 lbs, it took a two-day stay in the hospital for an irregular heartbeat and a cardioversion (shock the heart back to a normal rhythm) to make me get serious. 14 months later, with the help of a lap band, I am down 85 lbs, to 180, and last year ran a 5K race.
I consider myself ‘Thick’ – mostly wearing a size 12 or 14, sometimes a 10 (don’t get me started on women’s clothing sizes and how a 12 is not a 12 is not a 12). I feel SO much better – off all the diabetes and high blood pressure meds, and loving life.
Funny part is – my darling husband told me I was getting ‘too thin’ – wanted me to stay in the size 14 range. I couldn’t do it – it would have forced me to stay on the meds, and I wasn’t doing that for ANYONE – even my hubby whom I dearly love. I am now rebuilding the muscle I lost during my weight loss and working on building healthy curves – I want a tush I can bounce quarters off of and a genuine 6-pack!
Please, my Sistas – if you are aching all over, your joints hurt, and you couldn’t run for a bus or a train if your life depended on it…if you cannot shop anywhere but the plus-size section, and you are on medication for your blood pressure (or should be) or diabetes (or should be) you are not Thick, you are Fat and for your health’s sake, you need to take your destiny and your health into your own hands and DO something about it.
Don’t deny this world your gift by ignoring your health – you deserve better and this world needs better FROM you. Who knows how many people you could inspire…