Since Usher’s Behind The Music debuted on VH1 a few days ago, blogs have been on fire discussing the episode. One thing in particular stood out in the episode. Usher discussion of his ex-wife Tameka Foster. It seems that every time her name is mentioned it burns a hole in the hearts of women across the world. I still am confused as to why there is so much animosity towards this woman. Even Usher acts as if he wants to denounce her existence and their marriage at times.
What baffles me the most is that it seems that Black women were the ones who were the most disgusted by his choice in Tameka. Why is that? Here a few of my perspectives on this situation.
Could it be that Black women saw Tameka as a reflection of themselves and became disgusted with that image? Tameka was an average looking Black woman with several kids. She was not a star or a model. Nothing about her screamed unique or celebrity. From the outside looking in, there was nothing magnificent about this woman. I think that some women saw Tameka and also saw themselves. She wasn’t glamorous. She was regular. They saw a reflection of what they might hate in themselves. Several kids, hard working single mom. Thinking that they themselves could never pull a man like Usher or of his caliber so what makes her so special? Why did he choose her? He not only chose her but he impregnated her TWICE! Oh yeah, there goes the jealousy factor. You knew it had to be there somewhere. Instead of it giving regular chicks hope that they too could snag a celeb, it annoyed them more than anything. I am convinced that if he married Pop star Rozanda “Chilli” Thomas from TLC, whom he dated for many years, the reactions would have been much different.
Granted, Tameka does make herself seem foolish occasionally with her outbursts on Twitter and in interviews concerning her marriage and the way she is generally viewed by the public. However, before she even opened her mouth, she was unaccepted as a whole. Then there is the theory that people hated her because they felt she was not good enough for Usher. Could it be something deeper than that?
Am I on to something here? Could part of the reason why there is so much animosity towards Tameka be because they see her as a part of them and they are not completely happy with themselves? Truth be told, we have no idea as to all of the details that happened between Usher and Tameka. All we have to go by is his version of the story and hers. Remember, there is always one more version. The truth.
Natasha… This one is for you
“No.” “Stop.” “Not interested.” “No thank you.” These and other variations should be part of your vocabulary… 
Change. President Barack Obama chanted that we needed “a change we can believe in” and Sam Cooke sang… 
Facebook
Twitter
GreenEyez
1 month ago
That’s an interesting concept very deep. For a small few I think the regularness of themselves is kinda un appealing and when a person sees a star they want to go to the realms of their imagination of something that is unreachable for them thus the term: “STAR” so there maybe some truth for some women. For me I feel like Usher just couldve done better. I mean get a woman that matches your financial worth but I guess if I was to analyze Usher I would say that he likes to be revered and pined after as oppose to a woman that matches his status… so he maybe super duper typical in a tragic kinda way.
3 D.O.L.L.S
1 month ago
Hmm…your view of it is interesting and you definitely could be on to something. I think that in addition to what you said, the worlds stereotypes about age difference in relationships played a big factor.
Nicole
1 month ago
I totally agree with this article, however I truly like the two together…I will never quite understand why everyone hated her….But this article makes sense and puts a spin on the whole situation for me…I just wished Tameka would have shown herself a little stronger and waited for the storm to pass, and proved everyone wrong but I know she is only human and the world took her to hell and back about being married to Usher!!!! I do want to know the story behind her not having her children fulltime…could that have something to do with why things back fired on her?!?!?!
Tiffany
1 month ago
There was something about her that turned me off about her, but who really cared. It was my opinion and evidently he saw something in her that he deemed to be something that he could try to build a marriage upon. Unfortunately it didn’t work out, but I am sure thousands of fans that are psyched that they can possibly pull Usher, like she did.
Peace, Love and Chocolate
Tiffany
Meka S.
1 month ago
Well I am one of the fans that dislikes Tameka F. I am nothing like her or close to being like her, I don’t know about everyone else. I’m 29, single, no kids and I am aspiring writer/poet,always looking to better myself you know but Anyways I mean as a longtime fan I just think he could have done better b/c he really is a wonderful person. Sometimes people just settle for convience or settle for less because they are so disappointed with theirselves; I think thats what Usher did. I think if he had perhaps married someone who didn’t have kids and understood him and gave him that balance b/t being Usher and Usher the entertainer fans woulda never exploded like we did. When his mom didn’t like Tameka Foster I knew my instincts were right. She just came off as phony to me from day one as if she was plotting to get Ush while he was dating Chilli. Now I wasn’t loving him with Chilli either but I accepted it b/c he was Happy. He didn’t even seem the least bit happy with Tameka Foster and that made me dislike her even more. I got over the age difference thing but I really believe it didn’t work out b/c she just wasn’t right for him and everyone saw that. I just hope this time Usher takes guidance from God b/c I hate to see his career suffer again like it did when he married Tameka F.
tee
4 weeks ago
i think your comments are just stupid!!!! DO you know USHER OR TAMEKA AT ALL? PERSONALLY??? NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW YOU READ AND HEAR LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND MOST OF THE TIME IS NOT TRUE INFO….. SO WHO ARE YOU TO MAKE ANY COMMENTS OR DISLIKE SOMEONE YOU NEVER MET? HOW DUMB? WHAT DOES HER HAVING KIDS OR HER AGE HAV TO DO WITH IT SHE WAS MARRIAGE TO HERS KIDS DAD AND SHE IS MAKING A GREAT LIVING FOR HER FAMILY. USHER IS IN NOWAY BETTER THAN THE NEXT PERSON YOU DONT KNOW WHAT HE IS LIKE PERSONALLY…..HE IS NOT GOD SO PEOPLE STOP PUTTING HIM ABOVE TAMEKA CAUSE SHE COULD DO BETTER TOO !!! YOU FOLKS NEED TO REALLY STOP HATING ON PEOPLE YOU DONT KNOW R HAVE A CLUE ABOUT……. USHER IS JUST ONE MAN OUT OF BILLIONS SO PLEASE HE IS NOT DESIRED BY ALL WOMEN OK!!! REAL LOVE IS NOT BASE ON FOOLISH THE COMMENTS ABOUT TAMEKA ARE JUST STUPID SHE IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL SUCCESSFUL SISTER AND AS FOR USHER MOTHER WOW NOW DID SHE MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR USHER DAD CAUSE HE LEFT THEM AND WAS ON DRUGS FOR YEARS SO SAD TO SAY HE WASNT APART OF USHER LIFE BUT SHE GOT THE NERVE TO SAY ANY THING ABOUT TAMEKA WOWWWWWWW FOLKS LOVING THROWING THE FIRST STONE THIS WORLD IS SO FULL OF HYPOCRITES
aigner
1 month ago
I think woman didnt like her because of how they got together. He cheated on chilli with her then she was married with kids and she lift her family and kids for Usher. She just didnt make her self look like a good woman and if you build a relationship on lies and hurt its going to fail then also the relationship with her and his mother but who knows the situation but thats is what we the people seen of her and it wasnt a good look.
STEFANY
1 month ago
I personally was proud of Usher for marrying Tameka because of the fact she wasn’t a modle, and she was a brown sista. Look at most of these slave minded, rich black men who only want biracial women on their arm. And as far as average looking I think Tameka is pretty. I think women were upset by the age diffrence and the fact Tameka already had 3 children more than it was about Tameka being “a reflection of themselves.” A lot of people were still holding out hope that Usher and Chilli would get back together.
Cami
1 month ago
That comment is as stupid as the person who wrote it!!! I quite sure the reason his women based fans didn’t approve, was because of her age and knowing him and the things he did and then she thought she was different and better, NOT!!! Please keep those dumb remarks to yourslef!!!
OhPlease
1 month ago
Their relationship was clearly not a healthy one or one that would last. He would have never married her or acknowledge he was sleeping with her if she didn’t get pregnant plus she was married at the time. I didn’t dislike her for any of these things and still don’t because I don’t know her personally so I cant say if she is or isn’t as crazy and drama filled as they say. But it’s the little things like going out her way to mean mug Chilli at an award show and the fact that Usher’s own mother that supports him through everything! Did not attend the wedding. that was when I said clearly something must be wrong, however Usher made his choice and now he must live with it.
jane doe
1 month ago
im glad you posted this i often felt alot of the hate was because she was a dark skin older woman.
divagiva43
1 month ago
I disagree with the article. I didn’t hate Tameka. As long as Usher and her was happy,that’s all that matter.
Shakia
1 month ago
I don’t think the reason black disliked tameka foster had anything to do with tameka foster. It was more about how usher changed not just as an artist but as a person. I think once he started dating her he lost his way. His music was good but it wasn’t the same. In interviews he was on edge and looked exhausted even before the two kids came. In some ways women were jealous because tameka foster was real regular and ended up with usher but I personally think its because he didn’t seem happy. it wasn’t hard to see that she controlled most of the relationship just by the way they were when they were in public. I don’t think people dislike her because she’s an older black woman with kids. I think we admire that she’s all that and can take care of them on her own. I personally just felt like she had him on a leash. So in turn alot of black woman don’t like her because she wasn’t making usher happy. True we don’t know what happened between them but we could always see he wasn’t happy with her. Alot of women feel that if a woman gets a man of that caliber to love you and settle down with you, you should be good to him. If he has to force a smile or pretend in public he’s okay then he’s not happy and it seems like she didn’t care one way or another if he was just as long as they were still married to each other. That’s just my opinion though.
OhPlease
1 month ago
@Shakia I agree with you totally. I remember he gave an interview and said he makes a conscious effort everyday not to cheat on his wife! I was this isn’t gonna last but a minute. Which no doubt she knew and why the kids are only months apart.
Rose
1 month ago
Not true. Women were angry because she broke up her own family in their minds and left her husband and children- for what? If Black women were angry because they felt an average woman could not have a man like him- our women really need mental health counseling. Usher isn’t good looking and he isn’t God. If we want money we can make it by earning it ourselves. Give me a break please. As a black woman it is our strength- the norm/behavior to uphold our families- she broke that tradition because it seems she broke down her own family for a man. We do not know the circumstances of her leaving her husband- just rumors. But it is what it appears to be. If it walks like a duck and quacks like one- it is one. She was seen as a home wrecker period.
MJ
4 weeks ago
Most ridiculous theory ever. First of all, I’m Black and don’t have several kids AND I appreciated that Usher was with a “regular” black woman.
It’s a lot of white women who probably don’t care for a white male celeb’s wife….nobody makes it a race issue. Why is it a race issue when it comes to a black celeb?? She was disliked because she was the blame for breaking up him & Chili.
D.L.Fletcher
4 weeks ago
I personally don’t know the women, so I can’t speak on what happened between them, but I could not get over the fact that he and Chili split any way. But he married and that was good enough for me; he saw something in her. I was happy for the brother. But then when they split and she started interviewing and making it public, just putting their business on the streets I fell off the band-wagon with her and him for that matter. Old school relationships say; “Family matters should stay within the family.” Now Usher being a southern gentleman should have known that. But all and all I hate with black families can’t stay together and very disappointed that another “star” couple has bitten the dust. I like dude, hell-of-a performer. I wish him the best. Call Chili… *LOL*
Craig D.
4 weeks ago
Excellent observation! It’s interesting that NO BLACK MEN (that I’m aware of) had a problem with his choice of Tameka. In fact many of us applauded his decision! He chose a regular black woman! What’s wrong with that? Black women in general are real big haters! Why are you same black women talking about how Erin Woods took Tigers ass to the bank? Does she get the proverbial “white pass?”
Tiana
4 weeks ago
I think people were just disappointed in his choice because he’s this huge star and since he’s attractive (or thought to be, i PERSONALLY don’t find him attractive) they expected him to be with someone that had the same or nearly the same status and popularity. It makes me think of Jay and Beyonce, they are both extremely powerful in their positions, Beyonce is gorgeous but in terms of appearance they just don’t look right to me. He’s much older than her and NOT attractive but in terms of status they are a perfect match. Usher chose someone who didn’t match him in status OR appearance. The other stuff going on in Tameka’s life is definitely questionable. If the rumor is true, she just left her kids and family for Usher, then that’s a reason for people to dislike her, but no one knows what was going on in that marriage. It is a red flag when your mom doesnt like who you choose. But people forget that Usher has known Tameka for years and years and they were friends first. I think its sad that it all fell apart so fast after having 2 kids. When they first got together Usher and Tameka caught so much heat for that relationship and he defended her to the end! People couldnt understand a man stepping up, marrying the woman he loves and being a family man. It didn’t work out, but Usher did the right thing.
lsg
4 weeks ago
I felt like Usher just wanted kids and since she was willing, he used her to get what he wanted…plus he understood the public wouldn’t turn against him…if things fell apart with Tameka…..because she’s so ordinary, i.e., not white nor light-skinned….like right now The Dream is catching flack over his break up with Christina Milian…why??? Because she is light & therefore certain people want her to be put on a pedestal, revered, respected and protected. In fact I think Reggie Bush’s name would be mud… for not marrying Kim Kardashian….except Reggie’s supporters silenced Kim’s supporters by reminding everybody she had a sex tape with Ray J. It’s sad how quickly everyone jumps to insult a dark skinned female these days….which is why Shar Jackson got zero support when K-Fed left her pregnant for Britney Spears…people should’ve questioned why Britney would do such an ugly thing. And all over the internet people insult Serena Williams, mainly because she is chocolate.
Renee
4 weeks ago
We want our celebrities to always be entertaining. It was cute to watch Usher and Chili together and a lot of people were really upset about their break up, but held out hope that they would get back together. And then Usher marries Tameka…and they were never a “cute” couple. I don’t think it had anything to do with her complexion, she simply wasn’t as entertaining as a mate for him. Period. As for comparisons to The Dream and Christina Milian, that’s unfair because Tameka wasn’t a celebrity (not that she really is now, but you know what I mean) before marrying Usher.
Meanchick
4 weeks ago
I agree with some of what you said. I think that because of the age difference and that she is a dark-skinned sister, she was immediately hated on. That’s too bad. There are men out there who like older women, dark-skinned women, big women, etc. Kudos to Usher for not chasing the models, beauty queens and video vixens! Their marriage, like a lot of others, didn’t work. Emotions are still there, it takes a while for pain to dissipate.
Coco
4 weeks ago
I don’t agree with that. As a mother with talented and good looking son’s, I don’t want predators getting with my sons. Tameka wants to be famous and she used Usher to obtain that goal. Stop talking about her and watch she blog something else. She wants attention and it’s about time to close the door on this story. She is done and out! Let it BE!!! Bye Tameka Foster!
KHADIJAKAT
4 weeks ago
To the writer please do not insult us or if you are going to try to write an article based on facts try talking to more “black women” first as you put. One would have to be of pretty low self esteem to identify themselves with Tameka. I didnt like her at first sight simply b/c there was something off about her and my instincts were proven right in this case, turns out she is nothing more than just another gold digger (not b/c she is dark brown as we are seeing enough of the other shades around these days too, enter Kim K, Amber Rose…). You are quite ignorant if that is your view of black women and no I dont think that Usher is so extraordinary that he’s unreachable or too good for me smh please lol on the contrary we dont run in the same circles nor will I ever be interested in dating an entertainement!!!!
BLACK SINGLE HARD WORKING MOTHER OF 2 & PROUD !!!
sunandsand
4 weeks ago
The observations made by Knight are right on point, imo. Tameka was too close to normal, and women can be competititve-sad but true. I wish she and Usher could have worked it out. I wish more black men like Usher would date “regular girls” like Tameka, but maybe the way they are scrutinized by the public is the reason guys like Usher don’t. The scrutiny the women get would drive a normal woman crazy. Abnormal women love the attention, positive or negative- they just love being talked about and in the press.
Reacharound
3 weeks ago
Great article. Projection and self-loathing are always lurking behind people’s opinions.
Usher is gay, right? Lots of people look down on ‘beards’ for perpetuating hypocrisy, so maybe that is part of it.
Currymel
3 weeks ago
Why does everything have to revolve around the black woman hating herself? IMO, I’m waaaay above average, in not only looks, but education, career, and family.
The problem I have and will always have is that Usher & his mom had a very unique relationship. One that you don’t see out side the industry, let alone within it. As soon as Tameka hit the scene, momma went out the door. Nothing good can come from a relationship once you come between family, let alone Momma.
Now if you hate on her because you wish that “could have been you”, I understand, you’re probably not the only one. But dang sure don’t attribute that to all of us that don’t take a shine to Mz Raymond.
OH YEA
1 week ago
People expected Usher to be with some video chick or some woman who we would have to guess her race. The fact that she was a average bw is what most people were surprised and some upset about. Also, the fact that she had previous children and was older is another reason. Yes, I know Chilli was older but Chilli looks younger than Tameka. Why is this a problem? I have no clue. As I said before and Tameka said herself…People did not expect usher to be with a woman who looked liked her. we live in a shallow world. they think because usher is thi sbig, handsome star that he should have a video model, super model or anything NON BLACK on his arm.