Mlk fought for our rights, and in the 21st century we are still aruing over what? Who's dating who and the color of our skin? If you love someone, you should love them for their personality.. Not for the color of their skin, that is ridiculous and childish! My African American ladies, would you rather be with a good for nothing brother? OR a man of a different race who treats you like a princess? THINK ABOUT IT.. Same goes for white women, maybe they've had bad experiences with white men & are interested in trying something new. I know plenty of sisters who date and marry white men! I am black & white, so who am I supposed to date? Will I be judged for dating a black man because I am lightskinned & vice versa?

You have correctly stated that the perception of the stereotypical Black woman is a major problem and a problem that Black women need to address themselves. These stereotypes whether we like it or not come from someone’s reality and/or experience. These realities are placed for review by the causal onlookers and posted for the world to see and jeer at. Some of these stereotypical perceptions are Black women have evil attitudes, they are fowl mouth, greedy, selfish, unsupportive to their men, and over opinionated. However as a Black man I have discovered that a Black woman who has character and a positive sense of herself is none of the aforementioned. She is thoughtful, honest, caring, and most importantly supportive. Now I have lived my life in the Black community and these women are easy to find if that’s what you are looking for the problem is we far too often what to live on the wild side and that is what we get. I tell young Black men consistently that when you find a Black women that have the stereotypical type of behavior why do you bother with them? If you stop dating and procreating with them they will disappear because it will be clear to them that those behaviors are not tolerated. I have come to the conclusion that on some level those stereotypical behaviors are adored on some level and Black men are drawn to them thereby reinforcing the stereotype.

The statement about Black women not being sort out on dating sites puzzles me because the majority of Black women go to Black dating sites now if these women venture out to other sites their virtues cannot be appreciated or celebrated in the way each of us deserve. I would also like to say that I have dated various races of women over the years and none of them can love you, care for you, and appreciate you the way a good Black woman can. So I am glad that on some level Black women are not appreciated on the same level with other women because good women are so hard to find and keeping them all to ourselves while selfish is a wonderful thing. More positive brothers need to step up so that we can show these wonderful sisters the appreciation they desire and deserve.

Im a black man im gonna tell the honest truth why black man choose to date women of other races. One other women see no problem in financially taking care of a black man because she unintentionally sees him as inferior to soceity. What i mean by that is she since a little girl have been conditioned to think that a black man has a problem with employment or hearing her relatives bad talk black men so she develops a sensitiviy to a black man's problem. But that same non black women would not put up with a man of her own race who is financially declined. But a black women who also takes care of a black man financial with give him talk all the time because she is only trying to better him and her race. The black women have no time for sensitivity to his problems because thats her god given man just like the white/latina women wont accept it from her god given man. the point im trying to make is non black women don't see black men as complete men like they do with they own men. Another reason is white women who date black men are either sex addicts are have low self esteem (this is something an older black women taught me) I always notice when a black man that is not rich as a white women she is either fat, ugly, comes from a rough family background or is poorly educated. So if she is fat, uneducated, or family on drugs she feels she has a connection to black men. Based on stereotypes that black men love big women, not educated, and come from poor functioning families. So black man find it easier to deal wit a women who is sensitive to his problems and has self esteem problems. If people dont believe my last statement about white women who date black men have self esteem issues then why dont rich or famous white women date black men. Example robert de niro black wife, mark ecko black wife, david bowie black wife and plenty more rich and famous white man who date or marry black women. Besides heidi clum and seal name another rich or famous white women who dated or married a black man. my point i love my black women ya go hard on us to better us and the black nation

Hi beautiful ladies,im 43 and a dark skinned,voluptuous,nappy headed goddess.Im as fake as they come.I love my pink and white nails,long weaves,pefume,make-up,fashion,glitter and glam(so what!).
Im also a very confident woman with intelligence and a heart of gold.Alot of men of many races have adored me....their family...not so much ...lol.
Today I have been happily married to my italian lover for over 11 years.We have to two exotic cuties together.Im just here to tell you...dont believe the hype....believe in you.We are beautiful!
~Truffles:)

To Lantanagurl

Not all black women have fake hair and nails and have different fathers for their kids. Me and the women in my family have real hair and it's long, we are not ghetto, we are educated and we are strong women. I am the only one of my mothers children who has a child, I have been married for 10 years!No teenage pregnancy here. My Mother raised four daughters on her own because our father was killed by a drunk driver. Yes we have college educations, with the youngest going to Brown! Anyway you say that black women have attitudes, a lot of people have attitudes but not all black women do. I for one don't, that's not how my mother raised us, she taught us to treat people the way we want to be treated. And a lot of my friends are the say way. I am not overbearing with my husband but I stand my ground and he loves it, he does not need me to boost his ego because he is a strong man. I think you have a lot to learn when it comes to race, because I am a strong women and have come from a real strong women, I don't buy into the race bull crap like a lot of ignorant people such as your self. Get a life lady, If your so smart so strong educate your self on this issue more.

It's sad that in the 21st century that we are STILL having this conversation!! If black men, and white people consider a strong black woman as inferior, that is their stupidity. They could NOT handle where we came from. The even sadder part is we will always be the bottom of the totem pole. WE started off as queens, and then ended up here to be treated worse than dogs!!! WE not only took care of our family, but the massa's as well. we had sex with the massa whether we wanted to or no; same with our husbands!!! They don't hate the way we look, they hate the fact we're stronger than they could EVER be!!!!!!!!!

Most of the people on internet dating sites are white people, majority white males. Most white males want white women.... so why are black women trippin off of what WHITE MALES want? Those idiots are shallow, perverted, demean women, are always go for the Playboy Model type.

I was on an online dating site, had a good profile and use to get a lot holla from both black and white males - and i'm black.

And Latinagirl, get the fuck outta here with that bullshit. You want black women to be pissed at you for dating a brother, but you can have him. He probably ain't worth nuthing if you gotta feel superior to a sister and rub it up in her face that you got a black man. You sound confused and insecure.

It's all good tho. Black women got it going on and everybody know it - including brothers. Don't even fret.

I'm a white man who has dated black women exclusively for the last 14 years and am now in a relationship that will most likely end my days whether we marry or not. We found each other on an interracial dating site whose name I WON'T mention!). I think myself lucky to have found the site and my lovely lady.

@ lantanagurl . By the way you say you tan because you think it's healthier. I agree, maybe you're not trying to be black. But here's a little history...

"Skin color became that visible definer--one that separated working classes from the ruling classes, and the master from his servants. Pale skin belonged to the leisurely upper classes, while darker skin indicated a life of outdoor labor. The paler one's skin, the higher the class; men and women went to great (and sometimes unhealthy) lengths to be pale." Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/13930-sun-tanning/ It eventually became a “fashion statement” to be darker.
You want to talk about “skin bleaching, hair extensions and straightening hair”….shall we…. Know your history that is… not just American history…. “Black history”, cause, contrary to what you might have been taught in school, you can’t talk about American history without Black history. Yes, some of us might go to extremes to look “Caucasian”, only cause that’s what history taught us; that the fairer the skin, the straighter the hair, the longer the flow, is “better”. That came from Your “White” part of the family. Not us trying to be “you”. Our ancestors didn’t come to American and wanted to be different. They were captured in slavery. We looked different, we spoke different, and we acted different. We were forced to change, with the use of physical force. Ever seen roots??? Kunta Kinte, forced to change his name to “Toby”, an American “white” name. As African American women, at this point in our lives, we’re not straightening our hair, or growing our hair, ‘over night’ to look white. The majority is imbedded hatred that was thrust upon us during slavery, and we just can’t let it go. And the other part is, look around history is still present everywhere you look, in magazines, tv, movies, and see what they say beauty is…. “the lighter is righter”…. Who wouldn’t want to be thought of as beautiful?? Which is why you “choose” to date bruthas. Cause your own people, “the white part”, don’t except you. So how dare you come on here Miss high and Whitey, like you got one up on us, cause a brutha was too damn weak to deal with a strong black woman, with ATTITUDE…. And yes, we have reason to have ATTITUDE…

http://www.gspoetry.com/no-laws-to-protect-the-african-queen-spokenword-poems-432231.html

Thanks for pre-making my point, Wendy. Each and every time we make disparaging comments on other black persons based on physical attributes that are synonymous with people of African heritage we end up damaging our self-esteems. This eventually manifests itself in our women bleaching their skins, wearing fake hair, putting all types of toxic chemicals in their hair to have it straightened, wearing fake fingernails, and probably some other fake stuff that I don’t even know about. Being fake shows a subliminal lack of self confidence, and confidence is considered to be sexy.

Another blow is, as was said, the media. With popular movies, music videos, and ‘urban music’ all portraying black women as being prostitutes, sluts, sex objects, having no morals or inhibitions or being overly ig’nant and sassy, then they are less likely to be considered by men of other races as being a suitable partner, thus they are overlooked on the dating sites.

Truth be told, this is just one of the many terrible sociological scars that are the legacy of trans-Atlantic slavery, which has cast our people at the bottom of an unspoken hemispheric racial caste.

Ignorance, ignorance, ignorance... While it may be true that black women are the least sought after group of people on this particular site, why does this have to point us straight to the greater social woes of black women in general? The stereotypes and over-generalizations present in the comments following this article are the exact reason we have racial issues. We need to get to a point where we can meet a woman and not look at her as a black woman, but take her for the woman that she is. As people, we like to group ourselves with those that are like us because it makes us feel secure, but it also breeds ignorance. I am not in disagreement with everything that has been previously stated, there are some very valid points being brought up, but my point is that what applies to one person NEVER applies to an entire race of people. I am a black man and I married a white woman, not because she was white or because she's not black, but because she is the woman I chose to marry. I dated all races of women and was previously engaged to a black woman, but some people can't seem to get past the fact that my wife is white. The amount of racism I have seen first hand from black people has been amazing, but that's an entirely different discussion. My point is, we need to start looking at people as individuals and not as a race.

I have never been one to frequent a dating site for any reason. I am a strong black woman who wants a strong black man. And like the white woman in the first post, I too am raising three kids on my own, though I wouldn't call myself a babymomma. I was married and am now divorced.

I am a homeowner in a very well off area and am doing it all on my own. My kids are well adjusted and have maintained firm positions on their school honor roll. I'm not bitter toward my ex-husband nor any other black man. I love my father and therefore will never put down any black man because that's where I derived.

I am 5'6" 150 lbs and stacked in all the right places. My face is cute and I look younger than my 32 years. I am well rounded and continue to look towards God guidance. I think, no let me rephrase that, I know I have the right to look for what I want in a man and dang well expect to find that and a little extra.

If my black woman attitude scares a black man off, I'm perfectly okay with that! I've always said, "It takes a really strong black man to be my man. To show me being his rib-mate is where I am supposed to be." For a real black man, I will bend. I run my household and will continue to do so.

When a man is ready to head my home, he will prove his committment to me and my kids in front our our family, friends and God, and marry me. He will then move me into our home where I will settle in to my roll as wife. I will continue to work and further my education and a real black man will have my back and support me every step of the way.

A real black man would never put down what he comes from. If he wants a white woman, that's his choice. Obviously he wasn't the man for me and I'm cool with that. I will not accept anything less than what I deserve and if that's too much for any black man, I will assist him in finding that perfect white bunny he seeks.

I will not apologize for my black woman's attitude because it has gotten me far in life. I hope the white woman in the post can learn a little something from those black women she so proudly put herself above. Having a black man and having a real man is two totally different things. Having a black woman and a woman with a tan is also two totally different things.

I feel it shouldn't matter what race you are. If you want to date outside of your race, then do that. Just because you like to date outside of your race, do not put your race down. I am a dark skinned woman, and feel that I am very beautiful. I've dated white guys, they are no different from your black guys. The most important thing being black is we should stick together like other races. That is something that our black community need to do. Instead of dissing one another, and worried about what the other has. Let's get together and do something about it. Stop giving the media what they want. I have no problem with any race. I can relate to anybody, it doesn't matter what color they are. We are all made from the same God. No race is better than the other.

After reading this column, and then reading the article the author is writing about, I find this column a total load of 'woe is the black woman' crap that really didn't need to be written. The writer chose *ONE* study published by the staffers of *ONE* site to try and paint black woman as virtual social lepers, and I simply don't buy it.

I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that if other races find us unattractive is because they pick up on our insecure behaviors. I constantly hear BLACK women pointing out wide noses, dark skin, and nappy hair in an insulting way. I hear US insulting US more than any other race.

The problem with these dating sites is that most of the men just want to "hook up" instead of looking for companionship. Also, the internet can be misleading. People lie about appearances, income, etc., etc.

As far as black women being ignored on dating sites, I guess it depends on what dating sites they are going to. Are they registering on more well known sites like e harmony or match dot com? Or are they going to less popular sites?

To each his own, but I think it's really shallow for a man to look for women with perfect body parts and features. Call me crazy, but I thought it was about personality. Looks may fade, but personality and a good heart wins.

So darker skin makes you feel like you're healthier hum? And you think it's the blackwoman's attitude that makes them unacceptable. You sound like you speak for blackmen well you don't. I'm sick and tired to white women and that's what you are talking about the REASON why they date black men. Your answer shows the truth in the article and i repeat your answer. " I date blackmen exclusively now and do you know why? White guys aren't interested in my less than Victoria Secert body. You see white men and white media have set the standard for what beauty is and believe or not this is a powwerful medium that works. Those weak ass blackmen that go after you are afraid to tell you the truth. They suffer from SELF HATE and in hating our sisters hate themselves. In nearly every case of a wehite woman stating "the blackman accepts my body" they are FAT ASS MORBID OBESE ugly ass creatures that I personally woun't be caught dead with. Another thing keep it moving with "I'm so sick and tired of this black verses white thing". I don't see people telling the Jews to forget about their issues, or the Muslims to forget you're Muslims or any other race but the Black race. Listen you're not getting a real blackman cause no self respecting blackman would degrade himself with anyone other than a black woman. I know this comment will be attack by the very people I love, black men and women and that proves that we are indeed a lost people looking outside ourselves to find the solution to our problem...

wow! totally disagree with this post as far as saying other races want to be like Black women! White women tan because we feel it looks healthier. As part Native American whose skin is already darker than most of my relatives, I can say that not once did it occur to me that I was trying to be black because I enjoy being in the sun and having darker skin...not once. I can vouch for my white sisters, as well...never crossed their mind. I have full lips & an ample butt, but not the big boobies my White Mother has (Thank God!!!!). Now let's talk skin bleaching, hair extensions and straightening, shall we? We can get into racist crap like this or we can talk about the REAL issue and that is one of ATTITUDE!!!

I date Black men exclusively now and do you know why? White guys aren't interested in my less-than-Victoria Secret body (shallow jerks). Black guys accept me for me. When I ask why they date white girls I am told CONSISTENTLY it's because I am real (no fake hair, no fake nails), but most importantly it is because of my ATTITUDE. I am a very strong woman, have raised 3 (white) kids on my own & put them thru college. I am bossy as hell at times, but when it comes to my man, I'm a softer version of bossy. Don't get me wrong, I stand my ground when i believe in something, but I'm "softer". Feel me? I am intelligent & speak intelligently. I do not have baby daddy's & I would NEVER settle on being someone's baby mama! Value me enough to Marry Me jack-ass or you are not living with me!!

Most of my girlfriends are Black & we've had this discussion many times. A woman can be strong as steel but she does Not have to be overbearing. The attitude of "I don't need you" speaks volumes to a man's ego. They need to be needed by us. They need to be able to come to the rescue at times. The media does not help dispel the myths surrounding all cultures; it perpetuates it with their garbage myths & fallacies. It's the same discrimination you speak of in your piece about the way people talk. If you are White & speak with a heavy southern drawl people immediately assume your either stupid & inbred or your're a redneck with a shotgun! Not fair, is it? But then, who said life was fair? It's not & it never will be. I think it starts in the home. Change always starts at home & when people begin acting the way they want to be treated and accepting nothing less, then things will begin to change. OMG, I am so incredibly tired of this Black versus White thing!!! We belong to each other!