Attention Readers. Be weary of this post. This is not for the faint of heart or the bourgeois. In other words, if you are a person who is insulted by urban discussions and the idea of someone using slang in their writing to express a point makes you want to raise your fists to the heavens then this is not the post for you (probably not the site for your either). This post is devoted to the individuals who are on Facebook acting like a pure ass clown. Yeah, I said it. Ass-clown. As always please feel free to add on to the post. This one might push some buttons but hell! If I don’t tell you then who the hell will?
1. God Is Your Friend. Well Good For You.
Facebook is not meant to be your podium. It is not the place where you can stand high on your soap box and judge others. Especially when I am quite sure that your feces does indeed stink. With that being said, please refrain from posting thousands of bible verses a day on Facebook . This is especially for the delusional people who try to make themselves out to be angelic but in the real world are the most messiest people of us all. “Well whatever do you mean LJ?” It is quite simple. The main people who constantly are posting bible verses, and discussing what they learned in church early Sunday Morning and judging you for sleeping in, seem to be the main ones who also keep up the most drama and commotion with other people. Bottom line is that in reality you live a total contradiction from the image you attempt to portray on Facebook. Your image is contrived and you are nothing more than a fraud. I love God. However, I do not feel the need to try to prove that fact to the FB community. I’m just sayin…
2. Facebook Is Not The Venue For You To Show Your Ass
This one is a pet peeve of mine. Facebook is not meant to be a place for you to act a fool in order to garner more attention from the couple of hundred people (most who you either have never met or barely see in your offline life) on your friends list. Therefore there is no need for anyone and damn-it I mean anyone, to jump on Facebook and spout porch monkey antics and deliver other coon statuses. These statuses include but are not limited to: how many blunts you can/will smoke, how many chicks you can/have sexed, baby mama/daddy drama ( because we just don’t care about your personal business like that), cussing belligerently. I could go on but you get my point.
3. We Know You Love Each Other. We Just Don’t Care.
Being in love is always wonderful. However, you do not have to prove it to the Facebook community. I mean really, who are you posting the constant statuses about your rapture for? If you truly love your man/woman then why do you have to repetitively try to prove it? Who is the show for? It sickens me when I see back to back posts that go something like this:
Me and My Pooh Bear Are Eating Dinner. He/She makes the sun rise and shine.
Just finished eating dinner and now we are about to watch a movie. He/she makes the moon rise and cool down the earth. Wow, I sure do love him/her.
Finished with the movie. Now we are about to take a shower together. Did I mention that we are in love?
Just got out the shower. Now we are rubbing lotion on each other. His/her hands are so soft. Yummy…..
All lotioned up! Now it is time for more cuddle time! I love how his/her breathe smells like marshmallows and gum drops.
I mean damn! As your Facebook friend, am I forced to know every intimate detail about your love life? We get it. You love your “Pooh Bear”. We just don’t care.
4. Stop Being A Victim
This is for the person who jumps on Facebook and is always crying about how good of a person they are and asks why people are always doing them wrong? Hmmm, maybe it is because bad s**t happens to everyone. OR perhaps you aren’t as good as you are portraying yourself. You can’t always be the victim. If you are going to tell then tell the whole damn story. Maybe this is karma catching up with you for your fallacious acts. Swallow that…..
5. Stop Disclosing Info That You Don’t Want To Share
If there is something going on in your offline life that you do not want to share then stop dropping hints to your problems online. Please do not post statuses where you say how hard your life has been because of this “new problem” or how you have something “so heavy” on you your mind right now etc… Facebook is too small for all that emphasis. The most annoying part of this is when people respond to your status out of concern and you become insulted and go on about how you want people to mind their business etc… Uhm… if it is a secret then treat it as such. A secret is something that you do not share with everyone or perhaps only certain people. Do not use Facebook to garner attention and then lash out when people ask questions. Is this not what you were searching for when you posted the mysterious yet leading statuses? How ass backwards is that?
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