“Lady In My Life,” by Michael Jackson, has to be one of my favorite love songs. It is a devotional song from a man to his woman letting her and the entire world know that she was his and he was hers. Mmmph. You have to love that type of sincerity. The type of sincerity with no qualms in either of your heads as to what you are to one another. People have no choice but to respect what you two built together.

Unfortunately, not every man is an advocate for this form of devotion. Believe it or not, there are grown a** men who refuse to claim the woman they are in relationship with in public. I am specifying grown men because men are very quick to let the world know they are indeed men. They don’t think it should ever be questioned. There could be several reasons he decides not to claim his woman. He might be embarrassed by her. He might want to keep up the image of being single so he can continue to date other women. He might be an extremely private person. Or, in his mind, you two may not be a couple. Maybe, you think you are his woman when you are really just a toy for him to play poke the hole with. Sure, you might engage in couple-like activities, which include having sex, dating, cuddling, kissing and more, but that does not mean you are a couple. As soon as he publicly denies his woman, it completely diminishes all of the soft and cuddly times the two share in private.

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When thinking of this particular situation, rapper Nelly comes to my mind. Recently, he publicly denied that he was ever in a relationship with singer Ashanti. Granted, she denied him shortly after, but it appeared to be in reaction to his denial. No woman wants to look like a fool publicly for a man. Especially if she has celebrity status.

As I sat through the interview, a slew of questions came to my mind. I wondered which one of the reasons mentioned earlier made Nelly publicly deny his years-long relationship with Ashanti. I mean, the man is in his mid 30s. He is not a young guy, who would be embarrassed of being emotionally attached to a woman. Ashanti is attractive. Some have their criticisms about her being a little on the hairy side. But, realistically, the girl is not bad looking. So there is no real reason to be embarrassed by her. Even if he used the privacy excuse, that does not fly because, if they choose to, two celebs can be together for years and keep their intimate details private. It can be done. Just ask Beyonce and Jay-Z. Hell, even after they got married, Jay would still not look Beyonce directly in the eyes in public. Which is not that much better than Nelly’s situation, but, dammit, he at least claims her as his wife now. So, I have to give him some credit.

After I mulled this over for a short while, I realized something. There is no justifiable reason for any man to deny being in a relationship with the woman he is with. Even the excuse of fame is no longer justifiable because celebrities are doing more than dating now; they are getting married and having kids with one another. Therefore, *slams the gavel down* Nelly does not have a justifiable excuse for denying Ashanti.

For those who say, “A man can be with a woman and not want to claim her publicly because he is a private person, and it shouldn’t matter if he does as long as those two know what they have, and blah, blah…” I say to you, that explanation is crap. In fact, I can only ride with the privacy excuse to a certain extent. Why? Because men have no problem with bragging about the women they slept with, the money they make or other things that make them feel big or proud. So, the argument that it’s all about privacy is weak. Here are the facts, ladies, and never forget this: If a man is truly involved with a woman, then he will not deny her. In fact, he will do the opposite. By involved I mean, he is there with her mentally, physically, spiritually. In every way he is connected to her and there is no fear or hesitation behind it for any petty reasoning. These are the signs of man who is truly on your team.

That being said, my question to you is, “Is it ever okay to deny your significant other? If you do, what does that say about your feelings toward that person?” As a woman, I would not want to be involved with a man who was unwilling to claim me in public. He does not have to serenade me with “Lady In My Life,” but we both need to be willing to be proud of the other.