I may be the only colored girl in America who has no interest in rushing out to see the For Colored Girls film. I actually have no intent on going to see it in theaters. Perhaps when it reaches DVD I will watch it. I know what you are going to say. How dare I not break my neck to see the For Colored Girls movie? How dare I not want to support a Black film about Black women, their lives and their struggles? My strong Black women card should be revoked. While, I am not suggesting that the movie is not worth watching or is necessarily bad, I personally have little interest in seeing the movie. I have my reasons why so let’s try to keep it in context.

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Besides the fact that the movie previews look about as exciting as hemorrhoid surgery; there is another reason why I am uninterested in the movie. The truth is that the movie looks dry and depressing and it further reinforces certain stereotypes of Black women that I want us to move away from. From the previews to the hundreds of billboards that are spread out among every major metropolitan city in the U.S. Every instance of the movie looks melancholy. I see the posters for the movie and the first thing that pops into my head is “Oh Lawd! Why won’t you love me Jesus?! Jesus don’t love Black women at all!” Seriously, that is how my imaginative mind works. No exaggerations. That is what those movie posters do to me every time.
My core argument is that I am overwhelmed by the constant depictions of the sad, downtrodden, lonely, unloved, Black woman that the media lately feels compelled to oppress the American public with. I am over the victim routine that they want Black women to remain in.

Yes the Black women tends to have a much more difficult life on average than her White counterpart does but that does not mean that we have to remain in a victim-like state of mind. Just because we have had instances in our lives where we were victims, does not mean that now we must embrace the victim mentality as our own for a lifetime. Black women, we do not have to live the life of a martyr.

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I guess my disinterest in the movies and other similar to it stems from the fact that when I think of Black women, I do not think of us as victims, helpless, weak or constantly vulnerable. I think of us as women who may go through difficulties and tragedies in life as we all do. We cry, we regroup, we may have to cry some more but we eventually rise out of it. I think that movies like For Colored girls, though they may not intend to, further solidify the perception that Black women are lifelong victims. It is either her Daddy never loved her, no man will love her the way she deserves, or society doesn’t love her and has resolved to having its foot on her back forcing her face into the concrete. Whichever description you choose, the Black women will be on the losing end. I say, screw that s**t.

People, it should never be the goal to in life to want to remain a victim. You should never embrace your affliction and coddle it like a growing baby. This is how that mentality grows with you and you find yourself ten years later still in the same place you were ten years before that. Still facing the same problems, hardships, emotional woes, etc with no sign of growth.

It is not healthy for Black women to invest so much of our energy and emotions into movies, shows, books and other forms of media that reinforces the victimized Black woman stigma. Just to be clear I am not saying that we should never partake in the more dramatic side of entertainment. The last thing I want is for you take away from this that the only movies that should be supported are the silly, unrealistic ones like Lottery Ticket or Soul Plane. It does not have to be that extreme.

What I want us to do is realize that what you focus your energy into; the images and ideas that you place the majority of your mental energy into play a part in the creation of your own reality. Constantly supporting the portrayal of the suffering Black woman should not be your primary focus if you ever want to escape that reality. How can we expect for the sadness to go away when we run back into its arms like an abuser that we don’t want to let go of because he is all we know.

Also, Black women have to take a more active role in how we are portrayed by the media. As much as I respect Tyler Perry for giving hundreds of Black actors and actresses who otherwise would not be working a job; it is only so much of a realistic portrayal of Black women he can offer. Why? Because he is not a Black woman. Regardless of how close he was to his own mother, Grandmother, Aunts and all the other women in his life. His experience is limited because he will always see things from the point of view of a Black man. Sure he might be able to empathize more than the average Black man but it will still come with limitations. Even he has bought into the concept that Black women are in a perpetual state of needing to be saved. So he continues to put these images out and we sop it up like it’s a fresh biscuit with gravy. While he provides us with more portrayals thinking that he is only giving us what we need. At the very least what he thinks we want. But we don’t.

For that reason, we should not look only to him to create an accurate image of Black women that we want shown in the media and on the big screen. As a Black man it was never his responsibility alone. It should never have to be. Tyler Perry is not the voice of the Black woman. Nor should he be.