Raising children is one of the most important things a person can do. They have the ability to mold another human being into the person they will ultimately become. This is why I take parenthood very seriously and suggest that people only embark on it once they are completely ready for the task. A few months ago I wrote a post entitled Are You Raising A Good Black Man?Now is the time to apply that same logic towards our daughters who need as much guidance and our sons. There are some patterns that if altered immediately could lead to making a positive difference in our next generation of women. Here are a few thoughts I had. Feel free to add on.

Independence

She is responsible for herself. Independence is necessary. Especially in this society we live in. Teach your daughters that they are responsible for themselves. They are accountable for their own lives and the direction that it goes. By a certain age, they are also responsible for their own welfare and that includes being financially responsible. It is never okay to wait for a man to take care of you or expect him to be your savior. Teach them to be their own savior and hero first. Even if she finds a man that is willing to take care of her every need she should still be capable of facilitating those same needs if said man decides he wants out. Teach her not to crumble if he does.

Study Says Little Black Boys Inferior To Little White Boys

Not all men are created equal

Often mothers who go through heart break with men pass on that same heartbreak to their daughters by instilling in them thoughts that all men are dogs and never to be trusted. What they are doing is passing on their hurt. When they do this, at the time they think that they are protecting their daughters but they are doing more damage than anything. Yes you should teach your daughters that there are men in the world who are dogs and do not have their best interest in mind. Yes there are men who will take advantage of you, cheat on you and hurt you. However there are men who represent the complete opposite of that. Instead of teaching her that all men are dogs, teach her how to distinguish the good from the bad. The last thing you want to do is teach bitterness towards men to your daughters. You most definitely should teach them to be cautious when dating and choosing who they are going to get into a relationship with. But don’t put your emotional baggage towards men onto your daughter.

Are You Raising A Good Black Man?

SEX

The last thing you want to do is teach her to use sex as her guide through life. Using sex, and her physical appearance as the only means to get, keep a man or for any other advantages is temporary success at best. Teach her that she has more to offer a man and the world in general than what sits between her legs. Beauty fades but stupid is forever.

A baby is not a baby doll

This one is highly essential because teen pregnancies have increased so dramatically that they now have TV shows about it. It is detrimental that your daughter understands the significance of being a mother. It is a life altering event. She needs to know the importance of waiting until she is completely mentally, financially, and spiritually mature. She needs to understand that she is bringing a person into the world not a doll or a toy. The child is a person that in most situations SHE will be the primary caregiver for regardless of how great the father is. Finally teach her that there is nothing wrong with living her life first before devoting it to a child.

It is okay to be selfish sometimes

Despite how society says a woman should be; forever giving until she has nothing, completely selfless at all costs. There is nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes. Take time to know oneself, you should not always put the needs of others before your own. At some point you must come first or you will have nothing left to give to those around you.

Penis is not a priority

Finding love, having a man in your life is wonderful and is it understandable that a woman desires it. But it should not take precedence over handling your own business. Teach her not to be a woman who is willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of saying that she has a man. He should also not come before you loving and caring for your kids. Any man that asks to be put before the needs and welfare of your children is not the man for you. RUN.

There is reality and then there are music videos

Whether we want to admit it or not, music is a media that can distort some young people’s sense of reality. Sometimes without them knowing it. You may see the young women throwing themselves on the rappers in the videos, dumbing themselves down to being just sexual beings with nothing else to offer. That is a fantasy. It is that rappers and his labels fantasy. Do not make it your reality. It is not necessary to be oversexual, ultra submissive and to throw yourself at a man in order to have a man. Don’t let the rap video’s fool you into making you look like a fool. Don’t be one of those girls.

This one is extra and it is especially for my mothers. Stop allowing your young daughters to dance sexually. It is disturbing to see toddlers dropping it likes its hots but have no idea how to count to ten. You are teaching them from a young age that behaving slutty is acceptable and expected. Trust me, they have plenty of time in their adult lives as grown women to be sexual if that is what they desire.