Are you in a Relationship or Dealership…You tell me? We go to a car dealership looking for the best deal. We scan over a few cars, may even test-drive some, spending quite some time there. Finally it comes down to one decision. Either you take it or leave it. What happens when you pick a car for style rather than for substance?

Warning: Just because the ‘price’ is right, you can still end up with a lemon!

Now I know that each individual has his/her own interpretation of what a relationship is. So some of the things I’m about to say, you just might think its okay or that it “works for me,” but some things that work don’t always work well. You still need a check-up every now and again and in all honesty you don’t always like where you work at.

Actor Edris Elba Too Black To Be White Washed

Therefore, ask yourself this question: Am I in a relationship or am I just dealing with the other person? In other words, are you working for it or letting it work for you? There is a difference!

Relationship

The base word of relationship is to relate. One simple definition of a relationship is being able to relate to one another. Once you find out that the two of you can relate to one another, then you can learn about one another and eventually begin to meet each other needs. A relationship is less about “I” and is more about “We.”

Many misconstrue that a relationship is what one person can bring to the table, but it’s really about what both individuals can bring to the table. I hear so many females talk about what they want in a man, but have you ever thought what a man wants in a woman? (I’m gone leave some space for you to think about that one.)

Oh and don’t think I forgot about the men! Have you ever sat down and thought about what YOU can bring to a relationship? What women want in man? More specifically what does YOUR woman want in man and vice versa! We can’t just set standards and not meet them ourselves!

Furthermore, before getting into a relationship you might want to go ahead and knock out all the hard questions because time is too precious! I don’t know about you, but I don’t like my time wasted! Therefore, get pass his/her looks and his/her pocket book and really see if this person is for you. Compatibility is key. If not you’ll be caught up in what I call a “dealership.”

Dealership

A dealership is one sided. Its self-centered, not really focusing on each other needs or wants. Its not focusing on both individuals bringing something to the table, but more so looking at what one person can bring to it! Furthermore, it is a “If I give you something, you give me something,” type of ordeal.

Now for some couples, both parties are aware of this “dealership” and it works for them. Yet, the question comes down to, will it last? The fact of the matter is, there are people who have been together for 10 years or so based on this dealership ideology and are just now coming to realization that he/she need something more from that person…LOVE!

Here are 6 questions to ask yourself to see if you are in a relationship or dealership:

1. Is the communication only about you or about the both of you?
2. Are you giving something only to expect to gain something back?
3. Do you think about your needs or each other needs?
4. What do you sacrifice for him/her?
5. Are you genuinely happy with him/her?
6. Are gifts over-compensating your true feelings for him/her?

Written By: Latara Harris

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