A few weeks ago a writer of mine wrote a piece for the guys about the key ways to tell if your chick is going to hurt your hustle. It is titled Is Your Woman A Boss Chick? Now, by hustle, I am referring to whatever gets you revved up career wise. Whatever you are working diligently to accomplish. This piece is the female answer to that. It is a list of key warning signs that women who are on the rise in their career or have a life plan should pay attention to. The guy you are dating may be a burden and hold you back from accomplishing your dreams rather than be a positive addition to your life overall. I’m not from the generation of women who feel that they should sacrifice every hope, dream aspiration, in order to keep their man or to find a husband only to wonder “what if “for years. Or even worse, be with a guy who feels that he should be the only shining star in the relationship while his woman sits her ass at home, never chases her own dreams and waits on his calls. That sh*t is for the birds. I actually believe that there is someone for everyone. The right man will love you and your drive for your career as you should his.

1. He can never be happy for you.

Everyone else around you such as friends, family, co-workers and even the mail man is in celebratory mode about your career success, upgrade, whatever the case and he is completely uninterested. He can barely muster up a “congratulations”. Girl you might wanna get the mail man’s digits. He might be your upgrade.

2. He does not take an interest in the slightest in what you do or have going on.

He never asks any questions. He never inquires about how the big project that he sees you staying up every night till 3 or 4 am is going. He shows no interest in the progress of what you have going on. He barely comments on it.

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3. Negative Commentary.

When he does comment on what you are doing it is always from a negative perspective. He only criticizes your effort and hard work. He finds flaws in everything and never speaks on any positive attributes.

4. He downplays your career.

He may refer to it as “your little art thing” or calls your passion a “hobby”. He does not take it seriously in any realm. Be cautious of this because this a reflection of how he feels about you as a person. Chances are he does not take you very seriously either.

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5. None of his friends, families etc, know about what you have going on.

Here is the thing, when a man is proud of his woman he brags about her. He can’t help himself. He feels the urge to at least let those close to him know some details about what you have accomplished. Why? Because he is genuinely proud and happy for you. If you mention your big promotion and his homies looks at you with a dumb founded expression like “What?”. That probably means he has not bothered to mention your success to them.

6. He is unwilling to understand that SOMETIMES him and his needs will have to come second.

Let me be clear. I am in no way suggesting that a man or woman should put their career before their family or wife/husband entirely. However, there are times, when your career may become demanding and your significant other will have to be understanding of that. They will have to acknowledge that you may not always be available at their beck and call. This does not mean that you care for them any less it just is a realistic, rationale approach. Guys, if your woman is in a multimillion dollar meeting with a company and you are at home and can’t find your missing sock to your favorite pair or lucky socks then figure that shit out yourself. Calling her and demanding that her assistant pull her out of the meeting to tend to you and your needs immediately will get a stiletto stuck up your ass. Be understanding, and wait till she gives you a call or at least until you think the meeting is over and then discuss your sock crisis. After you ask her did she collect that big check that is.

7. He competes with you.

Listen ladies, the last thing any career driven woman needs is a man by her side that is secretly competing with her. Nobody This competition will breed jealousy between you two and he will go from the love of your life to your arch enemy. You don’t want that. Your man should be your biggest cheerleader as you should for him. Bottom line is you two are on the same team. Besides, no woman wants to be tough at her job around her competition and then come home and have to keep that same armor up with her man. Take me for example, on the street I am a lioness. You don’t wanna mess with LJ Knight because LJ Knight will and can get in your ass if necessary. But with my man, I am a kitten. Why? Because he allows me to be and does not give me reasons to think I should be overtly guarded with him. Get where I am going here?

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