I saw a tweet yesterday that said…
“Ladies what excites you more, knowing that you’re loved by someone or having the title as someones girl?”
I don’t know if this person just phrased the question poorly because I’m not understanding quite what this guy means by “excite” It’s not about excitement, it’s about respect and boundaries… well for me at least. It seems like our generation has lost sight of the purpose of a titles.
RESPECT.
Personally, I think relationship titles aren’t meant to set boundaries within the couple (I’ll touch on this again later) but for people outside of it. When I introduce Moe as my boyfriend, it means that I’m letting YOU know that this is a special relationship. We are more than just friends with benefits, we have made a conscious decision to set ourselves apart from the single dating pool by calling ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend. Granted he already knows this, I’m letting you know because that is how I want you to treat our relationship…with the respect that I presented it to you with.
That being said, If a male introduces a female to me as his friend, I’m going to assume just that, that ya’ll are friends nothing more. So when my interested homegirl asks me about you and who that chick is that you’re with. It’s fair game for me to tell her that she can go ahead and try her luck with you, becasue that’s just your friend right? See where Im going? I’m not going to treat your relationship with respect because you didn’t introduce it to me as something that I, or anyone should respect as a relationship.
BOUNDARIES.
Some people argue that relationship titles put strains relationships or somehow change things. I say HOW?
While I do think titles are important in relationships that you want people to take seriously, I don’t feel like it’s something should have to be overly discussed or pressed upon by either party.
I feel like a relationship title shouldn’t come until both parties have decided on their own that the interaction they’re having together trumps anyone else they are currently “talking to” or “dating”, causing each person to cut off the others without having to be asked to do so, but on their own free will. Basically if you have to ask/beg someone to stop talking to other people then they probably were’t thinking about commiting to you in a monogomous relationship, so don’t try to strap them down with a title. It won’t change anything.
The boundaries within your relationship aren’t founded on your relationship title. If someone wants to be exclusive to you, they don’t need to be your boyfriend to do so. If they want to date you and only you, nobody needs to tell them to do it. BUT. If you’re both mutually exclusive, and have already developed a healthy relationship without a title, what is the harm in now letting others know that you have decided to become more serious by separating yourselves from the singles? (By single I mean open to dating, not just un-married for all you smart asses)
Are you scared?
Ashamed?
Not ready to make it that serious yet?
Nothing is wrong with that, but I guess my confusion is just whether you don’t agree with relationship titles or just not with certain people? In which case you should stop copping out by saying that titles are irrelevant and just tell the person directly that you’re not trying to take it there with them.
Enlighten Me.
Written By: Chaunece Hayman
Want More Of Chaunece? Check out her blog or Add her as a friend on Facebook
