N.A.S.

* Warning* Pearl Clutchers beware: I use the words “sh*t” and “ni**a” about 20 times in this post…get over it.

For those of us that don’t live under a rock, I’m sure many have seen the rather vulgar acronym that many females use to describe the men that they’ve encountered. N.A.S. stands for “Ni**as Ain’t Sh*t”. I see this at least once a day in some form on my Twitter timeline or on my facebook newsfeed and I just can’ t help but wonder, what exactly is it that qualifies someone as an “ain’t shit nigga”? I suppose a deadbeat dad? Someone who stays at home with his mom, not contributing a DAMN thing? …OK…perhaps. Or What about the guy who is supposed to be exclusively yours, yet can’t seems to get the exclusive part down? Hmmm…maybe.

While those do make some worthy candidates for the N.A.S. club, do you ever stop to consider that maybe we aren’t holding up our end of the bargain? When someone does things to us that we don’t like are we addressing it with them? Or are you saving it for the Friday night Happy Hour with the girls? I mean I’ve had my share of failed relationships, but not once did I blame it on the inherent “ain’t sh*t-ness” of Black men. Boys are stupid? Duh. Men are immature? Ok. Fair enough. But to constantly claim ni**as ain’t sh*t every time your relationship doesn’t work out is just on a whole ‘nother level.

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Often times, when it comes to certain subjects I feel like Men just don’t know better. No,this isn’t an excuse as they SHOULD know better, but after many conversations with guys about why they do the things they do, it has become quite clear that when they say:

“I didn’t know she liked me, I was just trying to talking to her about getting this new job because she said she knew someone.” (personal experience lol)

They are probably dead serious. Sad but true. They just don’t know better. Why don’t they know better? Because either 1.)Nobody ever told them any better 2.) Being trifling has just worked out for way them in the past.

For example: Have you ever had a man come up to you with the most disrespectful, weak pick –up line and say it with all the confidence in the world? I have. And I always wonder what on earth would give someone the audacity to say something like that to ME and expect to get some positive results. *hairflip* Then a lightbulb came on. Men do things like that because it obviously gets them good results most of the time…Otherwise I would assume that they wouldn’t do it…or they’re just stupid.

Or what about your trifling ex-boyfriend? Now that ni**a? He wasn’t SH*T! I mean, he never helped you carry your bags, ate up ALL of your groceries and NEVER put in on them, let doors slam in your face, I mean just plain RUDE! So you saw him out at the mall with his new girlfriend and lo and behold he is treating her like a Queen! He’s carrying her bags for her, opening up her car door, just showing off!

How does this happen? What made him trade in his N.A.S. membership card? Someone once told me that you have to teach people how to treat you. It’s that simple.

See…Triflin behavior has been accepted for so long that many men just simply put, don’t know how to act! From my observation, a lot of women take pride in being “the cool girlfriend” The type that doesn’t make any requests or demands, as long as she has someone to call her man.

Oh he’s going out with the guys tonight? Cool. But you don’t hear from him until two days later. Do you say anything? No. He stays at your place for the night and you are awakened by him texting…at 2am…his ex. Do you say anything? No. He gets an attitude in front of his family and starts trying to show off. Do you say anything? No. So basically your man is like a spoiled child at this point. No rules, no consequences AND he still gets the goods. Why not? Neither you nor anyone else have made an effort to bring him to deliverance from his “ain’t sh*t-ness”. Actually, he has been rewarded for it with a doormat of a woman who will hold back her feelings, and overlook her values all because she just wants somebody to like her and doesn’t want to give anyone a reason to leave her, not accept her or whatever the case may be…AND still gives up the goods.
Oh but trust, when a guy meets a woman who he thinks is a keeper, he will do whatever it takes to stay in her good grace. He may try little games at first because (say it together) he doesn’t know better. But once a woman puts her foot down, he’ll straighten right up. OR he will be on his way. Either could be a result.

The point is, that you can’t hold someone accountable for the way they treat you if you haven’t laid down the law as far as how you should be treated. So while a guy may display some tendencies that you don’t agree with, the reality is that he’s been spoiled by many women who enable it. So before you go screaming N.A.S. to the heavens, you just make sure that you’re not the infamous “N.A.S. fan-club president.” Figure out what it is about you that keeps attracting this type of man. Maybe something about you screams desperation

“I will let you do whatever you want to me, just let me tell people that you’re my man.” In which case, what do you expect? *shrugs*

Written By: CDH