I love being a female. I embrace my womanhood with open arms. But if there is one thing that I hate that seems to automatically come along with being a female it would be “Girl Drama”. I don’t do it. I hate it so much that I refrain from watching certain reality shows that thrive on women cat fighting for 30 minutes or more over petty circumstances. You see, I learned at about the age of 16 that I lacked the temperament required to participate in constant girl drama. Which is why from that age on I have had only a few close female friends and the rest are simply acquaintances. I lack the patience to participate or acknowledge some of the behaviors that a large portion of females, or all races, backgrounds, ages, indulge in. I just… can’t… do it. These particular forms of girl drama wears my soul out! I can’t handle them. When girl drama approaches my inner circle of peace of mind I shut down.

How Many Reality Show Does It Take To Make Black Women Look Like Fools? Lots.

You see, I am extremely direct. So much so that it can get me in trouble. The problem is that most people are not accustomed to people being extremely direct and honest with them. As a society as a whole we have become accustomed to people pu**y footing around their thoughts, comments, and emotions in regards to others. Basically we prefer people to bulls**t us. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not an evil b**ch. Meaning my aim is not to hurt people’s feelings with my honesty. It does not make my toes curl to hurt someone’s feelings with my words. I have even took it upon myself to develop my skills in the art of tact as I have realized that just because you are not saying it to be offensive does not mean that others won’t take it that way. Therefore, I am honest but have learned that somethings are better left to be kept inside my own mind, behind a locked door, with a warning sign that reads: Danger, crudeness ahead. I just would rather someone who I deal with on a constant basis and care for to know that I am upset with them, rather than leave them guessing and expect them to do the same for me.

I can appreciate when someone is honest with me. In fact I rather you be direct and tell me how you are feeling towards me at the moment than bottle it up and explode on me over me drinking the last sip of your oh so hard to find RC soda. I may not know that I have upset you. It especially bothers me when someone clearly has a problem with someone and instead of expressing that to them, they insist on telling others about their opinions on that person and their actions. This is one of the oldest girl drama attributes and also one that will undoubtedly lengthen the time the drama persists. If Toya does not know that you are upset with her then why tell Tasha about it? Yet, still hang out with Toya as if you aren’t upset with her? If you choose not to be honest and tell me what I may have done to insult you, hurt your feelings, piss you off, whatever the case may be, and instead choose to say hang up on me, or ignore me, you will not get a response out of me. Especially if I have tried to reach out to you and you snubbed me. It may not be right but I will…Give up. In my mind, if you truly valued our friendship then you would be honest with me about your feelings in order to end the issues between us. Choosing not to frustrates the hell out of me and makes me question your appreciation of our friendship.

Ladies, Are You A Bottom Feeder?

In a rational person’s mind, the reason why this would be frustrating is obvious. In the mind of a young girl posing as a grown woman, they just don’t get it. As I mentioned before I am direct. So when I am upset with someone, whether it be my man, my BFF of over ten years, my Mom, or even a co-worker, to the point where I feel a grudge towards them coming on, I make it a point to speak with them about my feelings. If I feel the incident is not worth the drama, perhaps it was unintentional, not a repeat offense, or just not a big damn deal to me then I probably won’t mention it at all. Instead I will have to get over it and move on. But, if I feel the darkness bubbling inside me towards this person’s then I will confront them about it. Chances are my confrontation with you will not be a dramatic, over the top, screaming battle as that is not my style. But you sure as hell will know that I am not feeling you. With that being said, it should be no mystery as to why I can appreciate when a friend of mine has the courage to tell me “LJ, you were acting like a bi**h last night when you….” I appreciate that s**t. I honestly do. Why? Because, rather than you ignoring my phone calls, hanging up on me when I attempt to call you, or telling someone else about your annoyance with me while I am in the dark, you confronted me. That is some real chick type s**t and when it is done, even if I am at first taken back, I will respect you. I respect you way more than I would had you had hung up on me when I called. Be direct.

Another form of girl drama that comes to mind is the various forms of communication used during girl drama. Technology is the devil’s playground during girl drama. Text messaging and instant messaging are the easiest paths to miscommunication between friends. I do not attempt to argue a point over one of these modes of communication nor will I allow you to do it to me. You better pick up a phone. These modes of communication are prone to pro-long the argument. A text message battle that lasted for 2 hours could have been discussed over a 30 minute conversation on the phone. Also, these modes of communication leave too much unnecessary room for confusion. You can never tell how sincere a person is being over 120 characters or less. I don’t care how many emoticons or three letter text jargon they use. Finally, text messaging and instant messaging always makes me feel like I am being ambushed by you. Text messages come in like a hale of bullets leaving me with little chance to respond to you because you suddenly want to be text champion of the year. Girl if you don’t pick up the damn phone and call me.

Any other girl drama issues that burn your a**? Share please.