Days ago I came across an article on the site called Black Girls Are Easy. Yeah I know, the title bewildered me for a moment too but I quickly got over it once I read one of the articles on the site about Black women and their undying loyalty to Black men. The writer, a Black male, made the assertion that he recognizes that there are a lot of Black men who for whatever reason, make the decision to dog out sistas who are good to them. Yet, sistas make the conscious decision to remain loyal to them. To never consider dating men of other races despite the fact that they might complain that there are no good brothas and that they want a good man. Even he had to ask why? Why are sistas so loyal to Black men when it comes to dating? I had to agree with him. I too have heard these same complaints from sistas and have pondered the same question.
The argument that Black women are less willing to date outside of their race is not a new one. It has been discussed and debated on blogs quite regularly. The assumption is that Black men are more willing to look for love outside of their race than Black women are. I tend to agree. Black women do have an undying loyalty to our broathas no matter how much s**t we talk about them. We still stay with them, even the bad ones. However the reasons why that is are rarely discussed. Therefore it is LJ Knight’s job to address said reasons. Let’s begin.
It’s A Culture Thing
Worrying over whether or not a man from another race will understand her culture. Lifestyle, and experiences is enough to keep some women from dating outside of their race. A man she is dating not understanding why she needs to keep that hot comb, why she does not want to get her hair wet, or why she has such a hard time finding jeans that fit her waist and don’t buckle in the back is enough to scare some sistas away from the interracial dating pool. Sistas want to feel the comfort from their man and know that he not only understands them but that he can empathize with them. We want to know that he can relate to our lives and our struggles. To know that he can empathize when she feels like the blonde hair blue eyed sales girl may have just purposely ignored her in that high end retail store. To know that he has experienced it before as well so she is not alone in her frustrations. We want to feel that connection to our partner. This connection may be strained if the partner is unable to relate to certain life experiences.
Penis Size
Some women may not be honest enough to admit it because it will make them sound superficial as hell but penis size can play a role in whether or not a woman stays in a relationship with a man. Hell wack sex in itself is important enough to make some women leave a good man that loves the hell out them and is all about them. We all have heard the myths. White men are less endowed than Black men. White men are unable to put the umph in the love making that makes it mind-blowing. Great sex for some sistas is non negotiable in a relationship. So much so that they don’t want to even risk not being pleased by a man of another race.
Are You The Real Reason Why You Can’t Keep A Man/Woman?
Family Opinions
You ever heard of the saying if she can’t use my comb don’t bring her home? This came from Black mothers preferring that their sons only date Black women. For many sistas the same pressure is put on them. It matters to them what their family and close friends have to say about who they are dating. Especially if they are close to their parents. We don’t want to disappoint our Fathers and Mothers by not bringing home a man that they would approve of us dating.
Superficial Reasons Why Black Men Chose White Women
Society
Although it is 2010 and people are more open minded and there are millions of little mulatto kids running around, there still are those who snub interracial dating and prefer that “people stick with their own kind”. Kids still make fun of little mulatto kids in school, people still stare at interracial couples holding hands down the street and they are still judged heavily for their decision. Bottom line is that you have to be mentally prepared for the criticism that you might face for dating out of your race. Not every sista is strong enough to handle that type of scrutiny even if it is coming from strangers.
5. The Exotic Black Woman
Reader Apriester made a great point when she commented that some men of other races want to date Black women in order to conquer the sexual, exotic Black woman. Black women for centuries have been seen as sexual objects by not only our own men but especially by men of other races. No woman wants to feel like a man is dating her because she is an exotic sexual notch under his belt to be had and there is no other true interest he has in her.
My point is that I am not suggesting that Black women say screw all Black men or stop considering them for dates. However, I also think that we should not limit who can provide us with happiness in a relationship based on their race. Your prince charming may still be handsome and tall; just not dark. Sistas do not be afraid of exploration in terms of searching for love. It may be what your life needs.
hog wash...the only reason a black woman won't date outside of her race is because either because noone wants her outside of her race or because the other race is either too broke,fat and ugly...All that he won't understand her culturally is a bunch of boo boo because there are black men that understand a black woman culturally...You give me a good white...latino...itallian or what ever is good outside of my race and i will gladly accept..This is not the 1800's you are free to be with whomever as long as two people love each other...
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