Parents, are you sharing the role of molding your child with your child’s teacher? Are you doing more than simply putting food on the table and clothes on your child’s back? If you are not, then you are not fully raising your children. You are failing your children. Recently there have been two cases where the social network site Facebook has lead to two teachers being reprimanded for expressing their thoughts about students on the public forum. These are thoughts that some have deemed inappropriate for a teacher to share on a public forum about a student.

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The first incident was that of a young Black girl in Chicago, whose mother sent her to school on picture day with Jolly Rancher candies hanging from her hair like barrettes. The teacher saw this student, obviously thought that the child looked foolish for picture day, took a picture of the young girl’s hair and posted the picture on her Facebook page. The teacher’s friends then joined in, with comments such as, “If you’re going to make your child look ridiculous, the least thing you can do is have them matching,” and “I laughed so hard that my contact popped out.” The Mother of this child was alerted and immediately came to her daughters defense saying that the child asked for the hair style. She now is in the process of taking legal action against the school.

The second incident occurred yesterday in New Jersey when another teacher posted the following comments about her 1st grade students on Facebook: “I feel like a warden overseeing future criminals”. The parents were made aware of this comment and began complaining about the teachers comment.

I do agree that both of these teachers were irresponsible for mocking their students in any way and especially on a public forum, instead of going directly to the parents about their concerns and they should be reprimanded. I also have issues with whether the comments from the teachers came from a classict and possibly racist place. Having said that, I have to admit that I am not completely ready to burn these teachers by the stake nor can I completely disagree with their assessments. For instance, the first incident regarding the young girl with candy in her hair, while I do not agree that the teacher should have openly mocked the young girl by taking a picture and later posting it on her Facebook, I also do not think that the parent should send a child to school with candy in her hair. If you do not want your child to be seen as a clown or foolish then you do not dress them for the part. Who cares that she asked for it. Kids will ask for a lot of things but it is your job as the parent to determine if that is a proper fit for your child. It is your job to decide how you you want your child to be viewed by society.

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There is no other way to say it that won’t make me seem crude so I will just say it. The candy in the baby’s hair was ghetto and could be considered low class. There is no other way to define it other than that. If the little girl wanted color in her hair then why not buy her colorful barrettes and bows? Black Parents should be keen enough to know how this world works. If you don’t want your little Black daughter or son to be classed as ghetto then you do not dress them for the part. Bottom line. Of course there are individuals who will see a young Black child and no matter how well dressed, well spoken, educated, they may be, they will still label them as ghetto and or trashy because of their upbringing and the color of their skin and that is a unfortunate. It is unfortunate that this is the world we live in. Which is why we Black parent must combat these stereotypes as much as we can. There are characteristics, styling, behaviors, etc that can impose these labels on your child. These are the labels, behaviors, etc that could possibly hold your little Black child back from being the best they can be in our world. Black parents, the goal here is not to mold your child into a statistic. While your child may be far from one, if you look the part, act the part, then in the society we live in, you will be treated as such.

For the teacher who labeled her students “future criminals”, while also equally idiotic and possibly classicist in her assessment, I have to still wonder about the behavior of these young students. Were they unruly, disrespectful, rude, wild, violent, students? I grew up in Chicago and I have seen 7 or 8 year olds who cursed better than some grown folks and felt that they did not have to listen to any adult. Actually, they had no respect for any adults aside from their parents and even that may have been in limited dosages. Unfortunately the parent did not require them to respect any other adults. Which is why they felt that they could curse out their teachers, become violent with them and face no repercussions at home. Sure a teacher is there to celebrate, encourage and help to mold a child. But she is not there to put up with your undisciplined, rowdy, brats. It should not be her job to make the children behave. It is the parents to see to it that that is happening.

If this description fits your child then this can lead them to have the label of being a “thug”. If you are raising a child that is bad, has no respect for adults and is an overall terror in school then how do you expect him to be viewed by adults who interact with him? Do you honestly think that they will refer to them as little angels? I have never taught school but I have been around my fair share of children and if your kid is a hell raiser then that is what I will call him and to your face. You need to know this about your children parents. I am quite sure that this teacher would not characterize these students as thugs if they were well behaved children. Obviously they are behaving in a way, day in and day out that leads her to believe that they are heading down the path of self destruction. Perhaps her assessment should be looked into by the parents as she is the one that spends the most time with them during a day.

The real issue with the teacher should be that if she felt that they were nearing this dark and destitute path then why did she not alarm all of their parents immediately rather than mentioning it on a social media site? If I was a parent of a student in her class and she referenced my son/daughter in that way, my first instinct would be to ask why was I not informed and what exactly is my child doing to make you feel this way about them? Are you simply being racist or even classicist in your judgement or does this statement have some validity to it? I would need answers and need them immediately. If the teacher has previously reached out to the parents and this behavior is still occurring then shame on the parents not the teacher for saying something about it. Again, if your child is acting like a bad a** then he will be subjected to these negative labels at some point in his childhood. If not from his teachers then from the bus driver who takes him home everyday from school, or the mailman, your neighbors who he harasses day and day out, or even his own Grandparents.

Come on now folks, children are not born criminals. There are turning points in their lives where they make decisions to do the wrong things. There are usually reasons for this. If something is happening in a child’s life, where their behavior has shifted to the point where a life of crime could be a possibility for them, then their parents need to know about this NOW. Before it becomes too late and that parent is later crying on the 9 o’clock news saying “I just don’t understand why they would shoot little such and such?” Well parent, either you are completely blind or delusional because little such and such has been a neighborhood terror since he became a pre-teen. Where were you and why did you not stop it from getting to this point?

Honestly, I am not solely blaming the parents, although it may seem that way. I am sure in both of these cases, they are both loving parents who may be slightly overworked and are just trying to do their best in raising their kids with what they have. However, I cannot in good faith, completely place the blame on these teachers for their behavior as well. Teachers who also may be over worked, under appreciated and perhaps feel as though the parents are not showing enough concern for their children and are probably tired of seeing their students turn into statistics and behave like stereotypes and want the best for them as well. After all, there is only so much a teacher can do to inspire a child to want to be the best and give their best. The parent has an equal if not bigger responsibility to also play in a child’s grooming process. Both sets of adults are equally important individuals in these students lives and futures. This is reason enough for them to work together no against one another.