The world is obsessed with Black women. Wait, let me rephrase that. Society has become obsessed with degrading Black women in any way possible. It seems that whatever it takes to make Black women appear unworthy and devalued has been done recently. What we are worthy of is contempt and dismissive treatment. These words have been sitting on my heart for a few months now and I hesitated on writing about it. Not because I doubted my feelings. But because, it seems that whenever a Black woman strikes back at her attackers, or has a strong reaction to the degradation that she experiences or witnesses other sistas experience, she is seen as angry, childlike, bitchy and therefore easily dismissed. With that being said, I will keep this short and concise because frankly, I don’t have all of the answers but I do see the problem.
There is a war brewing and Black women are the casualties. I have no idea what has brought society’s recent obsession/dislike of Black women into the forefront of the media but it has provided those who have animosity towards Black women with an outlet. I don’t know if society and the media views Black women as a threat, or whether there is some underlined hidden jealousy that is causing this behavior. However, the media has given those who clearly have issues with Black women the bravado needed to express their disgust. The recent drama with Psychology Today printing an article perpetuating the idea that Black women are the most unattractive women of all races by using mock science and various charts to defend this point is probably the tipping point. Something monumental is about to happen in our society. I have no idea what it is, but I certainly can feel the energy surrounding it.
Can’t you see it? For instance, the recent string of Black women who have gone missing in this country and the unresponsive reaction of authorities. There is a lack of concern for the safety and well being of Black women and it is smacking us in the face. Who will protect us? It would seem that the answer is no one. In recent months several Black women have been missing from their homes and families and the only people who care enough to search for them is their families. It seems that whenever a White woman is missing, she gets top billing on the news and major media coverage for months on end. Then there are the latest attacks on Black women by their significant others. More and more husbands, boyfriends, and baby daddy’s are killing their women. They have escalated from the threat of abuse to murdering the woman that they claim to love. Even some brothas have become angrier towards Black women, choosing to spit verbal venom at them at any chance they have. While placing European women on a pedestal for their own set of skewed reasons.
I have no idea how we can put this animosity towards the Black woman’s existence to a complete end. I do have an idea of the first step. Sistas make it your priority not to give them more ammunition. What I mean by this is the moment you feel that you want to behave in a way that is unbecoming of the Queen that you are, stop. Stop wherever you are and gather yourself. This is how they want you to be. They want us to be dramatic, angry, negative, beings that are unable to control our emotions. They want us to look and dress like fools with cereal pieces and dices hanging from our acrylic nails. This my dears, is a part of what grants them the permission, in their minds, to be dismissive to us. To see us as idiots and somehow less than. I am not asking you not to be true to yourself but to merely be willing to grow internally and when you do grow be open to teaching others who may be stagnant.
I know your strife. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It seems that even with a business suit on, briefcase and diploma in hand we still aren’t respected. Yes, it is true. Modifying our behavior will not necessarily make society love us any more than they currently do. It will not guarantee that they will treat us much better. We have no guarantees. But at the end of the day, if you are being abused by someone and you have given them no provocation to do so, then they are the ones who will look like the villain. They are the ones who will look like the animal. They are the ones who will be seen as tyrants and oppressors. Not you. They are the ones who look like the fools and idiots. Not you. This is why it erks me so whenever I see a Black women presenting herself in a way that is unbecoming. We already have so much coming against us. We don’t need to assist in our demise with self destructive behavior.
Sistas we are clearly under attack at no real fault of our own. With that being said I implore you to please gear up for the future. Get as much education as you can. Be the best mothers and wives that you can. Love your children that you decide to bring into this world. When you learn something teach another sista, even if at first she seems resistant. You never know when she will have the “aha moment”. Pass on the wealth of knowledge that you have to the sistas younger than you. They need it. Strive to be number one in whatever it is you decide to do with your life. Whether it is the corporate board room, the dance studio, or the kitchen in your own home; strive to be the best. Treat other sistas with respect and that same expression of appreciation that you yourself desire. Finally always behave, think and know that you are beautiful, wanted, loved, appreciated, valued, and do so with class even if it seems that the whole world is against you.
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The first commenter's reaction is the desired effect that they would have black men feel. They want him to desert his own woman. No one else does this. So when he deserts her, she's like a sitting duck for every kind of attack. But the truth is that same black man has pain deep in his heart. He's confused, wanting what doesn't belong to him, other mens' women.
But the first commenter has a point. When the media attack was on the black man, too many sisters jumped on the anti-black man wagon. Had us despising our own black men, wanting other womens' men. We were busy talking about "not settling". Remember that?
When the reason for desiring other races for your mate is based in hating your own, that relationship won't be real. There's nothing wrong in falling for a mate of another race, but it should have NOTHING to do with her/his race, but who they are as a person. Especially in this racist society, which would come against that interracial relationship.
When it's a black man and a white woman, the man may come to hate the white woman just because her whiteness represents his oppression. He has to be attracted to her for who she is, not her race.
The thing we have to realize is this tactic is as old as dirt. It's called divide and conquer, and many of the new generation have no idea what it looks like. They have no historical basis with which to recognize and define this. They actually believe it's just "that damn dog azz nigga", or "that damn trick azz ho".
Young people, it's far far deeper than the surface. It's imperative that young people start learning the history of our struggle as black people, and reconnect on a deeper level, and stop despising each other, the man against the woman and vice versa.
ASK!!
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