1. Don’t Become Irrational-

Ladies, let me tell you a proven fact! You lose focus on the argument at hand when you become overly emotional and over the top. This in turn can make a man shut down and back out. Men cannot connect with an emotional argument. They also cannot handle an uproar and shock wave of emotions being flung at them. It overwhelms them. Which is why they often shut down. Remain rational and express your points with the same cool calm emotions. There also is a higher chance that he will be more willing to listen to your points rather than shut you out. Another benefit is that he looks more like the fool instead of you. That’s always a plus. Irrational behavior can deteriorate an otherwise highly evolved woman’s mind state. I have seen women stalk and chase men because they think he is up to no good. That is what irrational thoughts and behavior can do to you. Keep in mind that men take longer to download and process information. Therefore you might not get an immediate 180 degrees turn around from him over night. They work slower than we do when it comes to this. Sorry fellas but its true. Also, if you express your point with rationality versus emotion, they are more likely to listen and take in the info easier.

2. Don’t Yell and Scream-

I know its hard not do this sometimes ladies. You have a message that you want to convey and this man NEEDS to get it and he NEEDS to get it NOW. You grow more and more frustrated with this mofo and before you know it, you are screaming and yelling at the top of your lungs and using words that you would be embarrassed to use in front of your Grandmother. Girl go sit your emotional a** down. You must master the ability to keep your composure under stress. You have spent the last hour yelling at the top of your lungs at your man, while he has been half paying attention to you, because he has tuned you out because YOU ARE YELLING at him. Now, your a** is tired. Go take a nap with your simple ass. All of this stress could have been avoided had you had expressed your point to him without acting a damn a**. Now go look at your man, he is chilling and you have a headache. Damn shame.

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3. Keep Your Hands To Yourself!

Whew! This one right here… This one erks my nerves. When I see women initiate physical altercations and then want to cry victim later; it makes it more than difficult for me to provide you with sympathy. Now you got your face slapped. Now you’re sad. Guess next time you will keep your hands to yourself. Listen chicks! Keep your damn hands to yourself. Don’t confuse this with refusing to defend yourself. If a man attacks you then by all means, do what is necessary to get him off of you immediately and quickly evacuate the building! There are women who like to get physical when they argue with their man. They like to challenge them like they think they are Bruce Lee or some ish. Listen honey, chances are that you will NOT win a fight with a man. So why even put yourself in a dangerous situation? The last thing you need is for this man to knock the sh*t out of you. To avoid this, I keep my damn hands to myself. I never and I mean never, initiate violence towards anyone, man or woman, unless I am prepared for a fight. I don’t just assume that that person will not retaliate. Besides, my face is way too pretty for it to be bruised up. Yeah it sounds cocky and I meant every word of it.

4. Don’t Give Mixed Signals-

I’m sort of gangsta with how I handle myself and I understand if other women have not mastered this whole rationale over extreme emotions concept. Check it, I very rarely argue, yell, scream and act a fool. Not just with my man, but with ANYONE. In fact, You have to piss me off something fantastic-like in order to get a strong reaction out of me. Most of the time, I am cooler than a polar bears toe nails and try not to let someone else, control my emotions so heavily. Even if it is someone that I care for. Oh, me not having a strong reaction to someone cussing at me or yelling at me does not mean that I don’t care for them. It just means that I have made a conscious decision that I am above and beyond behaving in any way that I might look back on and regret.

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So what does a fly chick like LJ Knight do when she is upset with someone? I say what the hell needs to be said and I MEAN it. The key to this recipe ladies is that I say what needs to be said and I don’t scurry away from what was said. I express myself openly to the person and I leave it at that. They don’t have to agree with me. But they will at least understand where I am coming from and respect it. They can never use the argument that they did not know how I felt and that was why they were acting an ass.

I also rarely go back and forth over the same topic, repeating myself over and over. This only adds to the frustration of not only me but of the person who I am speaking to. Why torture ourselves over nonsense? I also pick my arguments. Not every thing deserves a strong response or a response at all.

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I give these few simple keys to my girls because quite frankly, I am sick and tired of witnessing grown ass women, 40 years and older, showing their a** over some man. Yeah I said “some man” because I don’t care how much you love him. There is little to no excuse for you to behave like a backyardigan (another term for a person who acts, or dresses like a damn fool in public). We cannot always blame the men in our lives. At some point, your big, grown, a** must take responsibility for your actions. ALL of them. Remember ladies, the one thing you truly can control, is yourself. Lastly, I never co-sign for anyone to stay in a relationship where all they do with the person is argue and fight. Life is too short to be in a constant battlefield in your own home.