Are you dating a ni**a or a Black man? A question that every sista should ask herself before she becomes deeply involved with a man. I have had the pleasure of dating Black men and a fair share of ni**as. This is why I am a firm beleiver in the idea that making this distinction will help to assist you in understanding the man that you are dealing with and guide you in your behavior with him. It will also assist you in determining how serious you want to get with this man. Some sistas prefer dating ni**as over Black men because perhaps they are ni**as themselves and that is who they are most comfortable with. Either way, determining the brotha you are dealing with will help you to manage your expectations of him. Some might get offended by me using the term “ni**a”. Don’t. The point I am trying to illustrate is that although there are some Black men, (some White men as well for that matter) who may be living, breathing definitions of that word, not all Black men represent that.

Check Out This Article: Ni**as Aint Shit Syndrome. You Allow It Boo

Now, it is possible for a Black man to possess some ni**a traits. For instance, If he grew up in a rough neighborhood he may have some characteristics that can resemble a ni**a. However, that does not mean that there is no hope for him. There are some brothas who are able to walk this fine line and balance between the two. There are others who are too far gone. This is why it is especially important that you pay attention to the signs that he gives. The last thing I want is to upset the brothas. I love the brothas. I hate to see Black men get a bad reputation because of some ish that ni**as are doing. Which is why I wrote this post. The bottom line is that I don’t date ni**as. I do love Black men. After years and years of dating. I think that I am now able to distinguish the two fairly early. For the sistas who are not. Here are some quick clues to look for while dating.

1. Ni**as like to make babies… Lots of them.

The average ni**a thinks that making a baby is the road to manhood. This is how they define their manhood. Having different babies by different women is a lifestyle for them. They would rather make a baby with a woman as a tool to define their relationship with the woman. See, ni**as use babies as a defining connection to their woman. In their minds, this is how they build a lasting bond or partnership with her. Why marry her when they can just make a baby? That is just as much of a guarantee that she won’t be leaving any time soon. The baby is the guarantee that he will always have a connection with her. Black men are willing to marry the woman that they love. He does not need to use a baby as a bargaining chip for her affections. A Black man realizes the importance and the responsibility that comes with having children so he does not go through life spreading his seed so clumsily for the mere purpose of bonding with their woman or feeling like a big man.

2. Ni**as like to screw.

I know what you are thinking. All men like to have sex. This is true. However, ni**as like to screw ANYTHING. They have little to no standards and requirements and see their penis as a gift. Hence the term “magic stick”. They assume that all women should want their penis. To them their penis is the most valuable trait that they have to offer a woman. They actually have little to nothing else to offer a woman and they know that. This is why they put so much emphasis on their penis and sex. Some ni**as will also use sex as a tool of entrapment by laying the pipe down with the intentions of trying to get in a chick’s head. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some Black men who are also equally skilled at sex however, the deciding factor is the intentions behind it. A Black man knows he has more to offer her than just sex. So his love making skills are just the icing on the cake.

3. Ni**as don’t like to work.

Ni**as like to chill. Bottom line. They have no problem with chilling at the crib while their baby moma/ woman works a 9 to 5 and they provide little to no assistance in the household financially. The disclaimer to this is that I understand that the economy is bad and a lot of brothas aren’t working so please use discernment when applying this particular piece of advice. See, the difference is that ni**as don’t have that internal drive to provide for their family. They don’t think that they have to be an adult in that realm. Something internally makes them not want to work or even try. If the economy was great, and someone threw a job at them, they still would either not take it, or find a reason not to keep it. In summation, ni**as are lazy. A Black man would not dream of putting the financial weight of the household solely on his woman. He wouldn’t even feel comfortable with that arrangement. He can’t even wrap his brain around chiiling and doing nothing while his woman works two jobs.

Check Out This Article: 5 Reasons Why Black Women Are Less Likely To Date Outside Their Race

4. Ni**as like materialistic ish..

A ni**a defines his happiness, manhood, and ego through materialistic ish. For example, a ni**a’s car would look better than their home. He is willing to spend hundreds of dollars on a single outfit while still living in his mom’s basement. A Black man realizes that his financial future is more important than the immediate gratification of a new pair of Jordans. He has a mentality of forward moving. Now I realize that some Black men in general lavish in these things because they feel that this is what will attract Black women. This is also a part of our culture. In some cases, both of these justifications may reign true. However, this thinking probably will not attract a high quality Black woman. It will attract a materialistic immature Black woman.

5. Ni**as will hold you back.

A ni**a will hold his woman back from progression in her life. This has more to do with his own insecurities and issues and less to do with the relationship with the woman. Ni**as also can become jealous of their woman. They may even become annoyed with a woman who is career driven because they see it as futile and a waste of time. The would much rather spend that time chilling. They also think that anything that takes their woman’s attention away from them is a threat. A Black man wants to see his woman succeed because he wants success his self. He has his own purpose in life and would find it selfish to hold the woman he loves back from her own purpose and personal success. A ni**a is disinterested in progression. As I stated before he is more interested in immediate gratification and he struggles with planning for a future and following that plan. Ni**as are more inclined to go for what feels good to them right now because that is all that they can understand. The point is that the wrong ni**a can not only stop a sista from progressing but also drag her spirit down in the process.

6. Ni**as Raise their kids to be little ni**as.

Ni**as introduce their kids to ni**a ish at an early age. These are the type of brothas that will smoke weed and drink with their kids and pose for pictures with their child holding a Black and Mild cigar. They have no understanding of preparing their kids for a brighter future because they think that their own limited mentality is where its at. While Black men, even if they grew up in a neighborhood that helped to facilitate this behavior, are able to determine that some of these images are not only negative but counterproductive to a person’s growth. Knowing that makes them not want to indulge in that behavior, repeating the pattern of unproductivity with their own children.

There are plenty more differences between a ni**ga and a Black man. I decided to keep this one short. If you are a chick who prefers ni**as over Black men, feel free to have them all to yourself. Thoughts?

Written By: